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Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by PatrolMom, Apr 23, 2003.

  1. PatrolMom

    PatrolMom

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    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: (new 2003 version)

    1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

    2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

    3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

    4. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

    5. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

    6. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

    7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

    8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is SURGICALLY ENHANCED.

    9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

    10. She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

    11. She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

    12. She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.


    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

    1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a GRAIN ALCOHOL STORAGE
    FACILITY.

    2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

    3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
    DESTINATIONS.

    4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

    5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL
    RELATIONSHIPS

    6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK-He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

    7. He does not act like a TOTAL *** - He develops a case of
    RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

    8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.

    9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED

    10. He is not HORNY - He is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

    ;f ;f ;f ;f ;f
     
  2. pizzaaguy

    pizzaaguy

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    Hey, babe...get me another beer, huh? [brrp] ;f
     

  3. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    That was funny Pmom;N ;N ;N ;N Nice to see you down here in the
    lighter side. Don't see you here much.
     
  4. Dennis in MA

    Dennis in MA Get off my lawn

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    #1 - she's a chippy. Period.
     
  5. PatrolMom

    PatrolMom

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    Oh, I've been known to have friends in low places too, you know...hehehe;Q ;f
     
  6. joegerardi

    joegerardi Lifetime Member Millennium Member

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  7. PatrolMom

    PatrolMom

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    Well, he did say, "down here." ;Q
     
  8. Mr. Slithers

    Mr. Slithers M.F.I.C.

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    does that mean, dame & broad are out;)
     
  9. PatrolMom

    PatrolMom

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    Dame and broad are in, CHICK is out. I don't have feathers, dammit!