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more geezer stuff

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by lethal tupperwa, Nov 11, 2002.

  1. lethal tupperwa

    lethal tupperwa

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    Location:
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    Note: The Washington Post recently had a contest wherein participants were
    asked to tell the younger generation how much harder they had it "in the old
    days." Winners, runners-up, and honorable mentions are listed below.

    Second Runner-Up:

    In my day, we couldn't afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In winter, we had
    to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction.

    First Runner-Up:

    In my day, we didn't have MTV or in-line skates, or any of that stuff. No,
    it was 45s and regular old metal-wheeled roller skates, and the 45s always
    skipped, so to get them to play right you'd weigh the needle down with
    something like quarters, which we never had because our allowances were way
    too small, so we'd use our skate keys instead and end up forgetting they
    were taped to the record player arm so that we couldn't adjust our skates,
    which didn't really matter because those crummy metal wheels would kill you
    if you hit a pebble anyway, and in those days roads had real pebbles on
    them, not like today.

    And the winner:

    In my day, we didn't have rocks. We had to go down to the creek and wash our
    clothes by beating them with our heads.

    Honorable Mentions:

    In my day, we didn't have fancy health-food restaurants. Every day we ate
    lots of easily recognizable animal parts, along with potatoes.

    In my day, we didn't have hand-held calculators. We had to do addition on
    our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated.

    In my day, we didn't get that disembodied, slightly ticked-off voice saying
    'Doors closing.' We got on the train, the doors closed, and if your hand was
    sticking out, it scraped along the tunnel all the way to the next station
    and it was a bloody stump at the end. But the base fare was only a dollar.

    In my day, we didn't have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen
    and oxygen atoms.

    Kids today think the world revolves around them. In my day, the sun revolved
    around the world, and the world was perched on the back of a giant tortoise.

    Back in my day, '60 Minutes' wasn't just a bunch of gray-haired, liberal
    80-year-old guys. It was a bunch of gray-haired, liberal 60-year-old guys.

    In my day, we didn't have virtual reality. If a one-eyed razorback barbarian
    warrior was chasing you with an ax, you just had to hope you could outrun
    him.

    Back in my day, they hadn't invented electricity. We had to watch television
    by candlelight.

    In my day, we didn't have Strom Thurmond. Oh, wait. Yes we did.
     
  2. alellis

    alellis Senior Member

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    BOY

    When I was your age I was twice as old.

    al