Two men are seated next to each other on the jet and one notices the other has a black eye, just like himself. He strikes up a conversation about it. Passenger 1: I see you have a black eye like me. I got mine because I misspoke. The ticket gal happened to have very large breasts. I meant to say, "I'd like one ticket to Pittsburgh, please." But instead, I said, "I'd like one picket to ****burg, please." She punched me right in the face. How did you get your black eye? Passenger 2: Oh mine was a similar situation as I also misspoke. I was sitting at my breakfast table and I meant to say to my wife, "Would you please pass the corn flakes?" but, instead, I said, "You ruined my life you f%&@ing b^%&$!"