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Missouri Courtroom

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by sctusa, Feb 15, 2004.

  1. sctusa

    sctusa Sasquatch

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    Location:
    Tallahassee, Florida, USA
    Subject: Missouri Courtroom
    >>
    >>During a trial, in a small Missouri town, the local
    >>prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand.
    >>She was sworn in, asked if she would tell the truth, the
    >>whole truth and nothing but the truth, on the Bible, so
    >>help her God.
    >>
    >>The witness was a proper well-dressed elderly lady, the
    >>Grandmother type, well spoken and poised.
    >>
    >>The prosecuting attorney approached the woman and asked,
    >>"Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'"
    >>She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've
    >>known you since you were a young boy and frankly, you've
    >>been a big disappointment to me. You lie, cheat on your
    >>wife, manipulate people and talk badly about them behind
    >>their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you
    >>haven't the sense to realize you never will amount to
    >>anything more than a two-bit paper-pushing shyster." "Yes,
    >>I know you quite well."
    >>
    >>The lawyer was stunned. He couldn't even think for a few
    >>minutes. Then, slowly backed away, fearing the looks on the
    >>judge and jurors' faces, not to mention the court reporter
    >>who documented every word.
    >>
    >>Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and
    >>asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She
    >>again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley
    >>since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, has a
    >>bad drinking problem. The man can't build or keep a normal
    >>relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the
    >>worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
    >>wife with three different women. Yes, I know him."
    >>
    >>The defense attorney almost fainted and was seen slipping
    >>downward in his chair, looking at the floor. Laughter mixed
    >>with gasps, thundered throughout the courtroom and the
    >>audience was on the verge of chaos.
    >>
    >>At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence,
    >>called both counselors to the bench, and in a very quiet
    >>voice said, "If either of you morons asks her if she knows
    >>me, you're going to jail.
     
  2. cannoneer

    cannoneer

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    MISSISSIPPI C.S.A. OCCUIPIED
    ^6 ^c ~2 ~1 ^5 ;i
    That was a good one
     

  3. 218

    218 Glock 'n Roll

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    Metro-Boston, Massachusetts
    LMAO, thats great!! ;G ;W ^3 ~2 ^c ~1