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Missing Tampons

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Glockrunner, Mar 17, 2004.

  1. Glockrunner

    Glockrunner HOOYA DEEPSEA

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    OK, I'm the only female in a house full of guys. 4 sons and a hubby. Toilet seat is never down...etc. SOOOOoooooooooo I'm the only one who would be using female products.....CORRECT?

    A STRANGE thing was happening at my house. Tampons were disappearing! Yes, DISAPPEARING!!

    Ok....A few months ago I went to my cupboard to get out a tampon and there was ONLY one left. I could have sworn I had just bought a box the month before. So, I go back to the store, buy a new box and forget about it.

    The next month I go back to the cupboard...and VOILA....there is only ONE tampon left again.

    What's going on here? ALIENS?!?! I go to the store and buy another box, and forget about it.

    WELL.....I decided to clean out my two youngest sons closet and LOW and BEHOLD....at the bottom of their closet are the wrappers, applicators and the tampons themselves.

    I am starting to FREAK!!! Dear God, what are they doing with them???

    I get a hold of myself and tell myself that I am an adult and can handle this, despite the bizarre thoughts running through my mind. I'm thinking, "Do I have enough money saved up in the bank for MAJOR THERAPY?"

    I go to the top of the stairs and yell for my two youngest sons to "COME HERE!!!!"

    They march up the stairs and find me in their room staring into the bottom of their closet.

    I said, "What are you doing with THOSE? THOSE are MINE!"

    My 12 year old looks like a deer caught in the headlights and is silent.

    My 10 year old looks at me all innocent and says. "Well, Mom, we were playing with our G.I. Joes and stuff...and THOSE make really good SCUD missiles...

    What do YOU use them for?"

    "NEVER MIND...GO PLAY!!!"
     
  2. StoneGiant

    StoneGiant

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    In reading and anticipating the punch line, only one thought came to my mind:

    "I wonder if they work better than cotton patches when you clean a Glock?"

    :cool:
     

  3. TEAK

    TEAK 1*

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    atleast im not the only one;Q
     
  4. pesticidal

    pesticidal Eh? CLM

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    A couple years ago, my 12 year old son went to the master bath to get some soap. When he came downstairs, he said; "Geez, mom, you must be the tampon queen."

    Mom: "Why do you say that?"

    Son: "You got like 6 different boxes of tampons in the closet."

    Mom: "Well, they're all different sizes."

    Son: "Why, does it get bigger?"

    Dad: Out the side door, and hands and knees, tears running down my face...

    ;i
     
  5. seb

    seb

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  6. Guest

    Actually, they do work quite well for .45 caliber barrels...I was desperate okay? ;P
     
  7. David Z

    David Z Carpe Mundus! Millennium Member

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    Will they work for .45 caliber bullet holes? You know, like first aid? ;N
     
  8. milkdud

    milkdud

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    Why yes! I even saw that they are a recommended part of a good first aid kit when going to the range. I got the info from another web site. They do their job real well, apparently.;Q
     
  9. vafish

    vafish

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    I was told by an Army medic that they worked great for patching bullet holes.

    I've also been told since then by a couple of medical people that you should not put anything INTO a wound. But they did say that Maxi Pads and Duct tape were acceptable solutions to bullet holes.
     
  10. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    Thats a funny story. LOL;f ;f
     
  11. Timidor

    Timidor EEEEEEVIL

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    Wow, I only THOUGHT Duct tape could fix anything before. Now I know it.
     
  12. Guest

    Yes, they do, at least, thats my understanding of it. When I was just a wee lad in Boy Scouts, we used one of the adult woman leader's tampons to put over a large cut that was bleeding profusely, it works really well, absorbed all the blood.

    This may sound really wierd, but I carry a small box of them in the truck, for large cuts and for forgetful females. I have saved the day more than once because of those...
     
  13. Lumpy_3

    Lumpy_3

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    They also make excellent fire starters. Keep them in ther original package until you camp, i.e. snomobileing, or dirt biking ect.... At night dip them quickly into your gas tank and use as the starter for your fire, works well on wet wood too, as they burn for a wial. You should only use this fire for heat and start a seprate fire fore cooking. For obviouse reasons. However you can use the first fire to start the second fire.
     
  14. Dieselman

    Dieselman

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    traffic flares also work very well for starting camp fires. 15 minutes of flame:cool:
     
  15. bambihunter

    bambihunter 10mm collector

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    This is along the same lines:


    How can you tell if a blonde is having a bad day?










    Her tampon is behind her ear and she can't find her pencil. ;f