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Missing ex due to boredom?

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by Hussell_Crowe, Dec 23, 2012.

  1. Hussell_Crowe

    Hussell_Crowe

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    I don't want to incessantly ramble about this, but whatever. We met online, she lived 3 hours away, we're both in our 20s, although she was married to a 46 year old, and had a child with him. She never held a job the entire time I knew her, blaming it on her small town. I paid for everything, not that I'm ever complained about it, but I did want her to get a job for self-esteem and of course, money for her daughter.

    She lives at home and doesn't pay rent, using what little child support money she gets on various things. We were together over a year-in that time span, she broke up with me 5 times. Things such as, me sleeping too much because at the time I worked 3rd shift, and also because I didn't want to propose to her, because despite my love for her, I knew we weren't stable enough as a couple, to get married.

    I did everything I could to keep her. I bought a newer car, specifically so I could make the trip to see her, because that was important to her. She was often times quite demanding, if there was something she wanted me to buy her, and I hesitated, she would throw a fit and leave the store.


    She has/had extremely low self-esteem, due to her thin frame and lack of well...boobs. I never once said this was an issue, but she never listened. All of her relationships prior to ours ended badly, she didn't know what it was like to be with someone who treated her well.


    Basically, I dont understand why she left me, I truly hope it wasn't because I didnt want to marry her, at least not after dating for 6 months.

    Lately, I've been thinking about her. It's been a long time since she left me, but the sting is still there. I still feel the need to protect her or whatever, because I'm pretty sure she's going to end up with another " Bad " guy.


    I've resisted the urge to contact her. Maybe it's just the holidays...or maybe it's boredom because I haven't dated anyone since her. Who knows.


    Oh yeah, for what it's worth, all of my friends stated she was out of her mind, and I'm better off without her.
     
  2. Gallium

    Gallium CLM

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    Respectfully, I think you too suffer from self esteem issues. There are literally, dozens of nice women within 10 square miles of you (except if you are in Yukon/Alaska/Death Valley) to interact with. Brush your hair, gargle some mouthwash, put on some deodorant and go make some new friends.

    And yeah, please make sure they have well..."boobs".
     

  3. czsmithGT

    czsmithGT

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    Trust your friends on this one.
     
  4. cowboywannabe

    cowboywannabe you savvy?

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    the things you did for her that she was ungreatful for shows youre better off without her.

    i too say you need to lift your own self esteem. here is a word to the wise, no longer should you date somebody who doesnt bring to the table at least as much as you, give or take a little more or a little less. you dont want somebody looking for a sugar daddy so you end up working your *** off and getting disrepected at the same time.
     
  5. M&P15T

    M&P15T Beard One

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    Ahhhhh....the 20s.

    I remember getting all broken up over women. Then I actually lived with a few, tried to get into the "relationship" thing.

    That bloody well cured my naive attitudes about women.

    Is it boredom that causes the OP to miss his ex?

    No.
     
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2012
  6. Hussell_Crowe

    Hussell_Crowe

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    See, the thing that baffles me is this. How can you on one hand, say you want to marry me, and then 2 months later, break up with me, over the phone, without the slightest hint of emotion. It seemed rather cold blooded to me. And while my self-esteem isn't awful, I guess I haven't yet developed that " Swagger " or the inner peace of knowing, that I'm a good guy, and someone out there will actually value the things I do for them.

    I think above all else, I miss the companionship. The waking up next to her, the " hey lets go do something " partner. I don't have that now.

    And like I said, I did everything for her, short of getting her a ring.
     
  7. Bruce M

    Bruce M

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    I think perhaps you did and sorry, but it was the only part I paid attention to.
     
  8. JMS

    JMS 02

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    Consider yourself lucky to be out of that dysfunctional 'relationship.' Sounds like a nightmare :shocked:
     
  9. Resqu2

    Resqu2

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    Listen to your friends. Sounds like they know what there talking about.
     
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2012
  10. M&P15T

    M&P15T Beard One

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    Take this in a positive manner:

    The issue is with you, not her.

    You need to get comfortable being with yourself, and not needing others. Only then will you be ready for a relationship.
     
  11. GlockPride

    GlockPride Glock 23

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    Get your Bravia back and move on. Merry Christmas!
     
  12. ithaca_deerslayer

    ithaca_deerslayer

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    It is pretty simple really. So simple you won't believe me.

    Just find somebody else and you won't miss her anymore. The more you think back to her and wonder how she could not have appreciated you the worse it will be. Do not go backwards, go forwards. Do something constructive and find the woman who will appreciate you.
     
  13. cwheeler

    cwheeler

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    Dude, you got off easy!! You are in your 20's. Go out, have fun!! If you find a good girl then hang on to her, otherwise, bang the hot ones that come around and don't waste energy on thinking about the other stuff. Concentrate on you, your career, your hobbies! There is plenty of time to settle down and do all those other things.

    Just remember, the worst thing that hot chick at the bar, gym, grocery store, etc will ever say is; No. and then you can laugh at her and tell her she is ugly anyway. You just needed a quickie.

    Dating is fun. Life is fun. Quit worry about the crazies.
     
  14. caraker0341

    caraker0341

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    Don't walk, run away. Women like this will have you chewing on the end of your barrel.
     
  15. Hussell_Crowe

    Hussell_Crowe

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    An idle mind is the devils playground. I promise, I went through a stretch of several months where I was genuinely happy, and at peace with how things ended. She even called me, and asked MY advice on how to deal with her current boyfriend....I didnt berate her for asking me that, because at the time, I was over her. Now, thinking back about that, all I can do is shake my head.

    I also wanted to say, I appreciate you guys taking the time to offer your input on this. Gun owners are not monsters!


    I even took her shooting once ;) she hated it...said it gave her a headache.
     
  16. M&P15T

    M&P15T Beard One

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    You actually talked to her about how to handle her current boy-friend?
     
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2012
  17. Hussell_Crowe

    Hussell_Crowe

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    Honestly, yes I did. See at the time I was over her, because I had other things on my mind ( A great job, etc etc, not anymore ) yeesh, now I feel like an even bigger jackass!!! I think I'm just too nice a guy....I didn't want to hurt her feelings, even if I had every right to be like " Yeah...don't call me again "

    But, I remain steadfast in not contacting her. I hope these feelings are just temporary, and one day soon I'll be able to laugh at our relationship, and be truly happy with.....Norah Jones.
     
  18. M&P15T

    M&P15T Beard One

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    The only feelings you should have are a sense of being used and being pissed off. I remember a girl that I was dating, a stupid and beautiful blonde. We were in our 20's.

    I picked her up at her work at a resturant in Greek Town, down town Detroit. I was taking her to her apartment in a seedy, nasty part of the ghetto.

    She broke up with me while we were driving to her apartment.

    I stopped my car, kicked her stupid *** out into the dark, cold ghetto night, and drove away.

    She called and begged and pleaded with me to get back together for months.
     
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2012
  19. Averageman

    Averageman

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    You are suffering from a Hawaiian disease called "LA Ka Nooki"
    Nostalgia and remembering only the nice parts of a relationship (usually these thoughts were of horizontal moments rather than verticle ones) can cause this disease to wreck havoc on your life, especially when coupled with copious amounts of distilled spirits during the Holiday season.
    Squint in to the sun for a moment and imagine yourself in a snot covered minivan that smells like an old diaper, with six kids who hate you and a rather large woman in Wal Mart stretchy pants with a yeast infection, that just never quite goes away.
    Now turn away from the sun and let your eyes and head clear, Ask a freind to now punch you in the face as hard as he can.
    Now say these magic words "Thank you Pavlov!"
    Is that the future you want with this Woman who is just this side of crazy? Listen to your friends, go find someone sane who has a job and a future. Someone who wont get pregnant to keep you, someone who has as much to lose in a relationship as you do, and have a good, fun successful life.
     
  20. beatcop

    beatcop

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    Nothing worse than seeing a man lose everything including self respect and pride. Truly sad...a woman will break you down as far as you let her.

    Get with friends, meet new people, move on...the past is the past for a reason, have some faith and pride in your decisions.