A friend in the service that was in iraq emailed this to me. You Know You've Been In Iraq Too Long If: Generally: · You start to think "its not so bad here". · You say "this place sort of grows on you". · You say, "it feels cooler today" and find out that the temperature is 110. · You call your tent (trailer if you're lucky) "Home". · You get excited at the idea of "ICE". · Apaches excite you much more than Blackhawk's or Kiowa's. Armaments: · You don't jump when a door slams or someone drops something. · You aren't alarmed when every second person you see has a gun or two or three. · You kick the M-16 on the floor aside without a second thought when you sit down in the Dining Facility. · A Glock 9MM on a lady's hip is considered sexy. · Mortars and Rockets are "Okay" compared to Vehicle bombs. · You can measure distances based on explosion sounds. · When a "Red Alert" sounds and you're leaving a DFAC, you would rather go back in and have more coffee instead of seeking shelter in a bunker. · You know the difference in sound between "Incoming " and "Outgoing". Entertainment: · You get excited at the prospect of seeing the latest gun camera videos. · $5.oo for a DVD is a little pricey..especially if there is only one movie. · If you are disappointed if you can't find a new movie a day after it is released in theatres stateside. · Sitting around with your coworkers talking about different ways to be killed is considered "Water Cooler Talk". Convoys: · You are soothed by the sounds of helicopters flying six feet over your trailer. · Bullet holes in the cab of your tractor is no longer alarming. · Tractor selections consist of "Up Armored or Not" not Volvo or Mercedes Benz. · Convoys consist of as many extra Hummers and large caliber weapons as the Convoy Commander can find. · Driving on the sidewalk is normal. · Hit-and-Run fender benders are treated as mere warnings. · You get upset that you don't get "C-130" Frequent Flyer Miles. · Your carry-on luggage includes a flack jacked and helmet. · Driving through the traffic circle of death has lost its thrill. Hygiene: · You enjoy waiting 45 minutes for the toilets to refill. · It's ok to brush your teeth with the brown water that comes out the faucets. · KBR buzz cuts begin to look stylish (Even on girls). · Flies don't even hang around the truck drivers. · You have your own roll of toilet paper stashed in your tent/truck/back pack. · A shower with water that is neither to cold to hot and contains no mosquitoes is a priceless unattainable luxury. Surroundings: · "Texas Barriers" are something other that a device to keep Texans out. · "Jersey Barriers" are something other that fences to keep Holsteins away from Jerseys. · You get excited with the presence of clouds in the sky. · The security guards are Ghurka or South African. Dining: · You look forward to Mohammad's Mango ice cream as the treat for the day. · Powdered eggs taste OK. · You consider plastic ware the Place China. · You can distinguish inherent qualities of various plastic utensils. · The quality of the plastic utensils becomes a hot dinner topic. · Lettuce for your salad is a luxury. · You have become to believe that ham should be grey in color. · No matter what animal you are eating, it will be flavored with curry. · Going to another mess hall is an adventure. · Putting Thousand Islands Dressing on you hamburger bun instead of mayo/mustard/catsup is normal. · You automatically pick up two plastic forks whenever beef is on the menu. · You accept the fact that fajitas do not require tortillas. · Sliced hot dogs on a pizza served in a KBR Defac is good eats. · If you can not decide if you are going to leave a brownie and some milk during a mortar attack. Fashion: · You think desert combat boots look great with shorts. · Sand between your thong sandals actually feels good. · You can recognize 12 different camouflage patterns. · You've given up on shoe polish. · T-shirts at the PX are: M, L, XL, XXL & KBR. Living Conditions: · You get a big smile when you see your pressed clothes at the KBR laundry. · You get a bigger smile knowing they didn't lose your laundry. · You get the biggest smile when you get back someone else's laundry and now you have more underwear than before. · You think the bullet holes in the roof of your trailer is just another form of ventilation. · You get upset because the post office won't ship your looted artifacts. · You haven't had water from anything other than a bottle for months on end. · You consider broken sandbags just a new beach expansion. · The idea of a double wide trailer is only for the very rich and powerful. · Forgetting you military ID makes you feel naked.but pants are optional. · "Only one rocket has hit the camp" is excellent news. · Cardboard board boxes have become substantial pieces of furniture. Communications: · Stars & Stripes seems to be a liberal newspaper. · It feels normal to have to run outside to make a cell phone call. · You call your coworkers as soon as new T-Shirt patterns arrive at the PX. · "Can you hear me" takes up 50% of your cellular telephone conversations. · Your conversations are sprinkled with "Roger that" and"Good copy."