close

Privacy guaranteed - Your email is not shared with anyone.

Metric

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Apr 20, 2007.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    Messages:
    64,670
    Likes Received:
    1,546
    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2001
    Location:
    Muskogee Ok.
    He adored her.

    She had a classic shape, a 91.44 – 60.96 - 91.44 centimetre body.

    But it wasn’t only her physical appearance; she loved cars, sports, all his favourite movies.

    On their first date, he took her to a football game where they had seats on the 45.72 meter line, shared a few 1.126 litres of beer, and ate 30.48 centimetre long hot dogs.

    Afterwards they went to see Jules Verne’s classic film, 111,111.107 Kilometres Under the Sea.

    Leaving the theatre, she asked if sometime he might like to see her favourite movie, Mary Poppins.

    Turned out it was one of his favourites too.

    Shyly he admitted, "I love it when she sings, ‘4.929 millilitres of sugar helps the medicine go down.’"

    She smiled warmly, pleased.

    "Aw, gee, I love your smile," he said.

    "I’d walk 1,609,347.042 kilometres for one of your smiles."

    They made plans to see Mary Poppins, and also God’s Little 0.405 Hectare.

    He drove her home in his red Mustang.

    "Oooooh," she crooned, "I love its power, and its shiny finish."

    "It’s got a 186.5 kilowatt engine," he explained, "and every 2.54 centimetres of it is hand polished. I’ve also got it rust protected and shine coated; I’ve always believed that 28.353 grams of prevention is worth 0.454 kilograms of cure."

    "It must have cost a fortune," she exclaimed.

    "It wasn’t that bad, and besides, sometimes you have to live for now. Once they bury you 1.829 metres under, you can’t enjoy much of life."

    They took the long way home, driving many kilometres out past town, and although he was friendly and warm, he never did anything improper.

    "I like you," she said, "You move slow. Most guys, give ‘em 2.54 centimetres, they’ll take 1.609 kilometres."

    "Well," he suggested, "don’t criticize a man till you’ve walked 1.609 kilometres in his shoes. I can see why a guy might move fast with you; you are a beauty."

    "Gee, I’ve never thought of myself as beautiful."

    "Of course you are! You mustn’t hide your light under a 0.352 hectolitre; you’re an attractive woman...."