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Men's Rules

Discussion in 'Band of Glockers' started by isuzu, Aug 9, 2006.

  1. isuzu

    isuzu

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    The Guys' Rules___________________
    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

    Finally , the guys' side of the story.
    We always hear " the rules " from the female side.
    Now here are the rules from the male side.

    These are our rules!
    Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
    ON PURPOSE!
    1. Men are NOT mind readers.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
    or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
    And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become null & void after 7 Days.

    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

    1. You can either ask us to do something
    Or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really!

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this.
    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
     
  2. jimbullet

    jimbullet

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  3. darth board

    darth board steel killer

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  4. fcamd

    fcamd UofM82/UERM87

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    May I also add...

    1. Shooting, golf, football---they're like oxygen for men, we need it to survive. If you want to partake, go ask your girlfriends to go out with you.
     
  5. Eye Cutter

    Eye Cutter

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    fcamd: you're a physician? graduate of UERMMMC 1987?
     
  6. fcamd

    fcamd UofM82/UERM87

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    Yup! Section A...member of the Brixton Boys. Was also "affectionately" called Tata 'Imo by my groupmates.

    And you??
     
  7. Eye Cutter

    Eye Cutter

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    yep! Class of 1990. Kamelot is also a UERM alumnus. Both of us are Ophthalmologists
     
  8. fcamd

    fcamd UofM82/UERM87

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    Okay! Good to know UERM alums are into guns like me. A good friend of mine (Rigo Reyes'87) is also a practicing ophtha in Manila. Haven't been back to the PI since graduating...but there are plenty of our batchmates who now live here in the States. Holding our 5th annual reunion here in Vegas in October. Of course it's strictly "for the boys." And shooting will be one of the non-gambling activities.

    Any body know of any good shooting ranges in Las Vegas?

    Take care!
     
  9. Eye Cutter

    Eye Cutter

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    yes, i know Rigo. glad to have you onboard!