Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by glocker56, Jan 13, 2017.

  1. glocker56

    glocker56

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    "Her Diary:

    Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong. He said “Nothing”. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me and not to worry about it.
    On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior. I don’t know why he didn’t say “I love you too”. When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly and watched TV.
    He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep. I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

    His Diary:

    Motorcycle won’t start…can’t figure out why."
     
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2017
  2. Steel Head

    Steel Head Tactical Cat

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  3. Gunboat1

    Gunboat1 A.F.&A.M.

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    She clearly needs to be given command of a gender-integrated combat unit. It's her RIGHT to serve, don'tcha know.
     
  4. pgg00

    pgg00

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    Yep. Pretty much
     
  5. fgutie35

    fgutie35

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    Or.... he was pissed at the fact that she was splurging money at the mall, but did not want to engage on a discussion that would evolve into world war 3 that ultimately the wife will win by succeeding in making the husband feel like crap, so he was just suppressing his feelings and waiting for them to wear out. That would be theory number 2. Of course there are more, I'm sure will start to pour in after this one. :noevil:
     
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  6. Steel Head

    Steel Head Tactical Cat

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  7. Glock&KimberLady

    Glock&KimberLady Morior Invictus

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  8. SARG

    SARG

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    That was very special.
     
  9. OldSchool64

    OldSchool64

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    That's why we've never read that before: We're way out-there. :supergrin:
     
  10. JoeCitizen

    JoeCitizen

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    I saw a thing years ago along these lines. It was written by a guy saying something was really concerning him. He went on to tell how he was thinking maybe his wife is cheating on him so he follows her around. The previous night he was crouched down behind his motorcycle waiting for her to come home to see if she was with someone else. That's when he noticed his bike is leaking oil and he is really deeply concerned about it and wants some advice on how to diagnose and fix it.

    It reads a lot better than how I just wrote it.
     
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  11. Diesel_Bomber

    Diesel_Bomber

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    My house:

    Mrs. Diesel: (hmm, Diesel's not himself) What's wrong honey bunches, you're not yourself?

    Me: Bike won't start.

    See how easy that is? No tears, no screaming match.
     
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  12. G33

    G33 Frisky! CLM Millennium Member

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    Typical male scum.
    :)
     
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  13. OldSchool64

    OldSchool64

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    Did I hear fighting words.... :horsey:
     
  14. BradD

    BradD

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    Yeah, that's about what I think when I see something like the original post. I don't think I know anybody dense enough to have those types of problems. Other types -- sure, but not those.
     
  15. BradD

    BradD

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    That guy's not going to get any for a long time. Maybe never. LOL
     
  16. OldSchool64

    OldSchool64

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    And with my most recent post here. I'd like to say: It's been fun and it's been real.... and if I die in the arms of G33 life couldn't have been better. Wish me luck. :) I'm that kind of crazy. :)






    ETA: I'm also drunk..... feel free to catch my ashes when they fall :drowning:
     
  17. ysr_racer

    ysr_racer

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    The Perfect Day For Her
    8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses

    8:30 Weigh-in 2kgs lighter than yesterday

    8:45 Breakfast in bed – freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants; open presents – expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner

    9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil

    10:00 Light work-out at club with sexy, amusing personal trainer

    10:30 Facial, manicure, makeup application, shampoo, condition, blow wave

    12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor café

    12:45 Catch sight of partner’s ex and notice that she has gained 17kgs

    1:00 Shopping with friends: unlimited credit

    3:00 Nap

    4:15 Massage from strong but gentle hunk – says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body

    5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe

    7:30 Candlelit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/dancers

    10:00 Hot shower – alone

    10:50 Carried to bed. Freshly ironed, crisp white linen

    11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling

    11:15 Fall asleep in his big, strong arms
     
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  18. ysr_racer

    ysr_racer

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    The Perfect Day For Him
    6:00 Alarm

    6:15 **** job

    6:30 Massive, satisfying **** while reading the sports section

    7:00 Breakfast – steak and eggs, coffee and toast – all cooked by naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot showing her growler

    7:30 Limo arrives

    7:45 Several beers en route to the airport

    9:15 Flight in personal Lear jet

    9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (**** job en-route)

    9:45 Play front nine (2 under par)

    11:45 Lunch-steak and lobster, three beers and bottle of Dom Perignon

    12:15 **** job

    12:30 Play back nine (4 under)

    2:15 Limo back to airport (several bourbons)

    2:30 Fly to Bahamas

    3:30 Late afternoon fishing expedition with all-female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot showing their growlers

    4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs) – on light tackle

    5:00 Fly home, massage and **** job by naked Elle MacPherson (bending over showing her growler, naturally)

    6:45 ****, shower and shave

    7:00 Watch news – Michael Jackson assassinated

    7:30 Dinner – lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by ice cream served on a big pair of ****

    9:00 Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigars in front of wall-sized TV as you watch football game

    9:30 Sex with three women, all with lesbian tendencies

    11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer

    11:30 Night-cap **** job

    11:45 In bed alone

    11:50 A 22-second fart which changes note four times and forces the dog to leave the room

    11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep
     
  19. Diesel_Bomber

    Diesel_Bomber

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    Unfortunately, I do know people like that. People who will tell the whole world their problems but won't talk to their spouse about it.

    If you can't talk to them, why are you married?
     
  20. BradD

    BradD

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    The list of important emotional needs of wives usually has conversation at the top. Either meet each other's emotional needs or face the consequence: the deprived spouse might get that need met somewhere else.
     
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