Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Dec 12, 2004.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    Likes Received:
    Oct 28, 2001
    Muskogee Ok.
    Millennia Year Application Software System

    This memo is to announce the development of a new firm-wide software
    system. We are currently building a data center that will contain all
    firm data that is Year 2000 compliant. The program is referred to as
    the "Millennia Year Application Software System" (MYASS).

    Next Monday at 9:00 there will be a meeting in which I will show MYASS
    to everyone. We will continue to hold demonstrations throughout the
    month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good
    look at MYASS. As for the status of the implementation of the
    program, I have not addressed the networking aspects so currently only
    one person at a time can use MYASS. This restriction will be removed
    after MYASS expands.

    Several people are using the program already and have come to depend
    on it. Just this morning I walked into a subordinate's office and was
    not surprised to find that he had his nose buried in MYASS. I've
    noticed that some of the less technical personnel are somewhat afraid
    of MYASS. Just last week, when asked to enter some information into
    the program, I had a secretary say to me "I'm a little nervous, I've
    never put anything in MYASS before." I volunteered to help her through
    her first time and when we were through she admitted that it was
    relatively painless and she was actually looking forward to doing it
    again. She went so far as to say that after using SAP and Oracle, she
    was ready to kiss MYASS.

    I know there are concerns over the virus that was found in MYASS upon
    initial installation, but I am pleased to say the virus has been
    eliminated and we were able to save MYASS. In the future, however,
    protection will be required prior to entering MYASS. We planned this
    database to encompass all information associated with the business. So
    as you begin using the program, feel free to put anything you want
    into MYASS. As MYASS grows larger, we envision a time when it will be
    commonplace to walk by an office and see a manager hand a paper to an
    employee and say "Here, stick this in MYASS". This program has
    already demonstrated great benefit to the company during recent OSHA
    and EPA audits. After requesting certain historical data the agency
    representatives were amazed at how quickly we provided the
    information. When asked how the numbers could be retrieved so rapidly
    our Environmental Manager proudly stated "Simple, I just pulled them
    out of MYASS."