Mary Dooley, a spinster in the village, was dying, so she called Patrick O'Fagan, the local post-master, who also doubled as the undertaker. "Patrick," she said,"Oi've lived a long virtuous life, and I want it to be noted on my tombstone." "That you have, Mary, that you have. How can I help." "I want my tombstone engraved: `Born a virgin, Lived a virgin, Died a virgin.'" Mary duly died, but her estate wasn't very large, and tombstones and engraving are very expensive. Patrick gave it much thought, and finally had her tombstone engraved: "Returned Unopened."