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Marine Rules / Funny But almost true

Discussion in 'The US Marine Corps Forum' started by Not Simple, Jun 18, 2008.

  1. Not Simple

    Not Simple

    May 22, 2008
    Likes Received:
    St. Louis, Mo.
    Hi Guys;

    My son Andy is a Marine Lance Cpl. in Iraq. He is well and wants me to tell all of you Semper Fi. A friend of mine sent this to me from his older Bro who served in Viet Nam. I sent it out to my son and it was a big hit with his Unit. I thought you all might get a kick out of it too.
    My deepest gratitude for the service of you all. You are a truly Special Breed of Men and Women.

    Marine Corps Rules: 1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one. 2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
    3. Have a plan. 4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work. 5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet. 6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a '4.' 7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive. 8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.) 9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. 10... Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours. 11... Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose. 12... In ten years nobo dy will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived. 13... If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.

    14. Watch out for your brothers and sisters in uniform especially the "Lesser Branches".....Somebody has to

    Navy SEAL's Rules: 1. Look very cool in sunglasses . 2. Kill every living thing within view. 3. Adjust Speedo. 4. Check hair in mirror.
    5. As you walk out of the water call the Marines on the radio so they will be aware that you have arrived finally and are ready now to help them.

    US Army Rangers Rules: 1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving. 2. Locate individuals requiring killing. 3. Request permission v ia radio from 'Higher' to perform killing. 4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted. 5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.
    6. Make sure the Marines are there to back you up and have had a chance to clear a path before you get there

    US Army Rules: 1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order. 2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee. 3. Curse bitterly but first, Take a curse bitterly course from the Marines4. Curse bitterly. 5. Do not listen to 2nd LTs; it can get you killed. 6. Curse bitterly.
    7. Make sure you get attached to a Marine Rifle Co. because they can REALLY shoot.

    US Air Force Rules: 1. Have a cocktail. 2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner. 3. See what's on HBO. 4. Ask 'What is a gunfight?' 5. Request more funding from Congress with a 'killer' Power Point presentation. 6. Wine & dine ''key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.7. Receive funding, set up new command and a ssemble assets. 8. Declare the assets 'strategic' and never deploy them operationally. 9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time. 10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption. ( And I Love This Next One) < /SPAN>
    11. Before you take off have a Marine Ordinance specialist check to insure the bombs are fused and the air to ground missles are live and loaded properly.

    US Navy Rules: 1. Go to Sea. 2. Drink Coffee, eat Ice Cream 3. Deploy Marines
    4. Get out to open water and cut some doughnuts with the aircraft Carrier to confuse the enemy patrol boats. Since you have dropped off the Marines be careful because no one is watching your Ice Cream eating Asses.

    Go, You Devil Dog *** Kickin Bastards
    Get Some
    Semper Fi !!
    I am one of your Older Brothers from the Viet Nam Days.
    Dave V. :usmc:

  2. Fred Hansen

    Fred Hansen Liberal Bane

    May 19, 2005
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    Addendum to Navy rules: catapult-launch officers at the enemy. :patriot: :supergrin:

  3. 10-32

    10-32 Here, hold this

    Dec 16, 2005
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    Under the radar
    I'm sure they all got a kick out of that.......

    Once they found someone to read it to them. :tongueout:

    Thanks to your Son. I hope he comes home safe.
  4. 3/325

    3/325 Infidel Artist

    Sep 28, 2006
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    Kingston, WA
    Pass along my gratitude to your son for his service. There really are people back home who understand and appreciate it.
  5. gruntmedik

    gruntmedik Honk Honk CLM

    Jan 2, 2005
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    Taylorsville, KY
  6. jonusmcg


    Feb 5, 2008
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    Jacksonville, NC
    Hilarious, and for the most part...true!

    God bless you and your son! Thanks for the comic relief! To Marines and Marine family...Semper Fi.
  7. usmcnam6869

    usmcnam6869 THE FEW

    May 11, 2008
    Likes Received:
    Central Pa
    X100000 >>>> hope he stays safe..