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Making Languages Easier

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Dec 11, 2002.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    The European Union commissioners have announced that an agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
    communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

    As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted five-year phased plan for what will be known as
    Euro-English (Euro for short).

    In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.

    Also, the hard "c" will be replased with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm.

    In the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

    In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
    will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of
    silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

    By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by " v!"

    During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

    Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst place.
     
  2. lil genie

    lil genie who, what, huh?

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    probably somewhere sucking on mento
    hahahahaha! that's all i have :)