PROBLEM: Two Videos are for sale. Which to Buy? The Titanic Video or the Clinton Video? TITANIC VIDEO: $9.99 on Internet CLINTON VIDEO: $9.99 on Internet TITANIC VIDEO: Over 3 hours long CLINTON VIDEO: Over 3 hours long TITANIC VIDEO: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe. CLINTON VIDEO: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe. TITANIC VIDEO: Jack is a starving artist CLINTON VIDEO: Bill is a bullcrap artist TITANIC VIDEO: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar CLINTON VIDEO: Ditto for Bill TITANIC VIDEO: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined CLINTON VIDEO: Ditto for Monica TITANIC VIDEO: Jack teaches Rose to spit CLINTON VIDEO: Let's not go there TITANIC VIDEO: Rose gets to keep her jewelry CLINTON VIDEO: Monica's forced to return her gifts TITANIC VIDEO: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life CLINTON VIDEO: Clinton doesn't remember Jack TITANIC VIDEO: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen CLINTON VIDEO: Monica...uh, let's not go there, either TITANIC VIDEO: Jack surrenders to an icy death CLINTON VIDEO: Bill goes home to Hillary ... basically the same thing.