Mafia Valentine's Day Greetings

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by The Pontificator, Jan 1, 2003.

  1. The Pontificator

    The Pontificator Angry Samoan

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    > Subject: Mafia Valentine Greetings
    >
    >
    > 15. My love for you...
    > it came and went.
    > so your feet are now
    > in wet cement.
    >
    > 14. I'm here to fulfill
    > your fondest wishes-
    > Now that your husband
    > sleeps with the fishes.
    >
    > 13. Come to me-
    > It's my final offa,
    > Or you'll be lying
    > wit' Jimmy Hoffa.
    >
    > 12. I picked up this card
    > from a slim selection,
    > But that's all they offer
    > in witness protection.
    >
    > 11. I've waited so long
    > for you to be mine!
    > Now that Sinatra's dead,
    > be *my* Valentine.
    >
    > 10. Be my Valentine...
    > or else...
    >
    > 9. Cinderella got her fella,
    > with a slipper made of glass.
    > So please be mine, Valentine,
    > or I'll have to whack your a $$.
    >
    >
    > 8. Violets are blue,
    > roses are red.
    > I blew up your car-
    > So why ain't you dead?
    >
    > 7. The day we met, my little pet,
    > I knew with just one look,
    > You'd bear a son, and now that's done,
    > So shut your mouth and cook!
    >
    > 6. Hey, how you doin'?
    >
    > 5. Youse da greatest.
    > Youse da best.
    > But you're untouchable
    > Like Elliot Ness.
    >
    > 4. Lust is fleeting,
    > True love lingers.
    > Be mine always
    > And you'll keep your fingers.
    >
    > 3. Hope da chocolates is good, but y'know,
    > dis ain't really what a guy's heart
    > looks like.
    >
    > 2. Valentine, dear,
    > I'm a luck fella,
    > you're even better
    > than mozzarella!
    >
    > ...and the Number 1 Mafia Valentine's Day
    > Greeting...
    > (to the tune of "That's Amore")
    >
    > 1. When a goon makes you die,
    > cuz you told him goodbye
    > -- that's amore!
    >