Mafia Valentine Greetings My love for you... it came and went. so your feet are now in wet cement. I'm here to fulfill your fondest wishes- Now that your husband sleeps with the fishes. Come to me- It's my final offa, Or you'll be lying wit' Jimmy Hoffa. I picked up this card from a slim selection, But that's all they offer in witness protection. I've waited so long for you to be mine! Now that Sinatra's dead, be *my* Valentine. Be my Valentine... or else... Cinderella got her fella, with a slipper made of glass. So please be mine, Valentine, or I'll have to whack your ***. Violets are blue, roses are red. I blew up your car- So why ain't you dead? The day we met, my little pet, I knew with just one look, You'd bear a son, and now that's done, So shut your mouth and cook! Hey, how you doin'? Youse da greatest. Youse da best. But you're untouchable Like Elliot Ness. Lust is fleeting, True love lingers. Be mine always And you'll keep your fingers. Hope da chocolates is good, but y'know, dis ain't really what a guy's heart looks like. Valentine, dear, I'm a luck fella, you're even better than mozzarella! ...and the Number 1 Mafia Valentine's Day Greeting... (to the tune of "That's Amore") When a goon makes you die, cuz you told him goodbye -- that's amore!