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Mafia Valentine Greetings

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by The Pontificator, Jan 27, 2004.

  1. The Pontificator

    The Pontificator Angry Samoan

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    Mafia Valentine Greetings


    My love for you...
    it came and went.
    so your feet are now
    in wet cement.

    I'm here to fulfill
    your fondest wishes-
    Now that your husband
    sleeps with the fishes.

    Come to me-
    It's my final offa,
    Or you'll be lying
    wit' Jimmy Hoffa.

    I picked up this card
    from a slim selection,
    But that's all they offer
    in witness protection.

    I've waited so long
    for you to be mine!
    Now that Sinatra's dead,
    be *my* Valentine.

    Be my Valentine...
    or else...

    Cinderella got her fella,
    with a slipper made of glass.
    So please be mine, Valentine,
    or I'll have to whack your ***.


    Violets are blue,
    roses are red.
    I blew up your car-
    So why ain't you dead?

    The day we met, my little pet,
    I knew with just one look,
    You'd bear a son, and now that's done,
    So shut your mouth and cook!

    Hey, how you doin'?

    Youse da greatest.
    Youse da best.
    But you're untouchable
    Like Elliot Ness.

    Lust is fleeting,
    True love lingers.
    Be mine always
    And you'll keep your fingers.

    Hope da chocolates is good, but y'know,
    dis ain't really what a guy's heart
    looks like.

    Valentine, dear,
    I'm a luck fella,
    you're even better
    than mozzarella!

    ...and the Number 1 Mafia Valentine's Day Greeting...
    (to the tune of "That's Amore")

    When a goon makes you die,
    cuz you told him goodbye
    -- that's amore!
     
  2. The Pontificator

    The Pontificator Angry Samoan

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  3. JMC

    JMC

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  4. The Pontificator

    The Pontificator Angry Samoan

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  5. VicMackey

    VicMackey President

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  6. The Pontificator

    The Pontificator Angry Samoan

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