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Losing Friends

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by ugly8604, Mar 7, 2012.

  1. ugly8604

    ugly8604

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    This isn't a death thread, more of a social one. I am around 30 years of age and I can honestly say I've been watching my list of good friends dwindle for the past five years. They either haven't kept up with me in maturity and/or life goals, got married, or moved away. I suddenly realized this last weekend when I was sitting around with nothing to do and I realized... I have absolutely NOBODY to call and hang out with. This is a very strange and sad feeling. Back in the day I knew I would always be entertained, I would never be stuck at home by myself.

    I want to hang out on the weekends. I want to go on vacation. I refuse to do either of those two things by myself. I want to shoot the **** and go camping with my buddies. Instead I here excuses like, "Dude it's my anniversary," or, "It's too far away," or, "My chick is pregnant." All lame excuses in my book! :rofl:

    Have you noticed your list of friends dwindling? Did you make new ones? Or did you rely on the old adage, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em," and tie the knot? This is a real bummer.
     
  2. Resqu2

    Resqu2

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    Just get married already, over the last 20 years my wife has proved over and over that she is the only friend I need. All the others end up causing trouble in one way or another.
     

  3. Tim151515

    Tim151515 iHeartGuns

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    The people I grew up with and used to call my friends before I joined the Army are, for the most part, all wastes that will forever be
    a)in the legal system(the bad one)
    b)sucking on mommy governments bottle.
     
  4. sourdough44

    sourdough44

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    Yep, most of us end up getting married & having the 2.3 kids & end up in differrent circles than the previous.
     
  5. Detectorist

    Detectorist

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    As you get older you'll find that to happen more and more.

    My best friend died last year and one of my best friends this year decided to go postal.
     
  6. BK63

    BK63

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    My best friend died of a heart attack 5 years ago at the age of 43. Was a huge shock to me. Anybody else I grew up with is long gone. Friends I had through jobs come and go, even the ones you think are good ones. I had a pretty good friend from a job and we got laid off about 4 years ago at the same time. I found work and tried for the next 3 years to help him but he was just a tool when it came to interviews and rubbed people the wrong way. He stopped talking to me. I'm the bad guy cause I'm working and he's not. A ton of other "work" friends are all gone for one reason or another. Then there are those who only call you when they need your help with something. For 2012 I've done away with all of those. I took a good look at the benefits of having those people around, no benefits at all. Thats how life goes.
     
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2012
  7. Singlemalt

    Singlemalt In the rough

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    Do you not socialize much and meet others on the regular? My "core" friends of years will always be there (yes, they are married, kids, moved and all those scenarios) but I have aquired other friends over the years.
     
  8. JASV.17

    JASV.17 Prime Example

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    You said your friends haven't kept up with your maturity level, then say....


    "Instead I here excuses like, "Dude it's my anniversary," or, "It's too far away," or, "My chick is pregnant." All lame excuses in my book!"

    :dunno:
     
  9. Mrs.Cicero

    Mrs.Cicero Wayward Member

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    M.C is my best friend and has been for 20 years. We moved a lot in the first ten years of our marriage, and I tend not to keep up with people so well if I don't see them regularly, with a few rare exceptions (one from high school, one from college). Anyway, my friends now are the people I shoot with, go to church with, and the ladies I quilt with (my other hobby). My advice is to find a hobby that can involve other people, and find a church if you are so inclined. You do not appear at this time to have an attitude about marriage that would be conducive to its success. Don't take that wrong. A girlfriend might not hurt.

    Mrs.Cicero
     
  10. KiloBravo

    KiloBravo NRA Life Member

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    Funny timing for me reading this thread actually...

    I don't think I have "lost" many friends, yet. I have however just simply quit speaking to a few people who I thought were friends. Ones that always used to say to me, "Oh yeah, let us know any time you want to go do something together! We just need a week or two notice to be able to go." I mention something one month ahead of time, and they always cancel at the last minute, like clockwork.

    I am done with those types of people. I have also found out that my co-workers are NOT my friends. They are simply co-workers, and I will not make the mistake of thinking that again, unless I get the opportunity to work with a totally higher caliber of people.

    So really...I have very few "Friends" when it gets right down to it. My fiance and my dog, and my parents and brother are pretty much my core group of buddies these days, and I am ok with that. It is much easier to keep thing in perspective when you don't have a gang of people blowing smoke up your *** all of the time.

    EDIT: I did forget about my Brothers at lodge. They are all great people and they are true friends until the end. So, I have more than I realized. :)
     
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2012
  11. Veedubklown

    Veedubklown

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    Join a shooting club.
     
  12. OctoberRust

    OctoberRust Anti-Federalist

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    The only friend I have is my girlfriend. When I was single, I had no friends, and I actually loved it like that. I went out and socialized plenty, I just never made "friends" with anyone.
     
  13. Bearlaker

    Bearlaker

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    This is why there are dogs.
     
  14. ysr_racer

    ysr_racer

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    It's called "growing up". You should give it a try :)
     
  15. Chesafreak

    Chesafreak

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    I'm in the same situation. My situation includes moving frequently while serving 20 years in the Navy and simultaneously working a second job and going to school full time for three years. The guys I know (from work) are in their 20's and I'm in my early 40's so we aren't on the same page concerning the way we see life. Now that life is a little more calm, I have the time to hang out but no good friends. Other than coworkers, the guys I know seem to have a hard time getting the wife to let them out of the house without bringing the kids along.

    Its a good thing for me that my girlfriend and I have so much in common and like to stay active together. Over the year we have been together, we have had more adventure than our whole lives before meeting.

    I've been thinking a lot lately about arranging a meet and greet in the Hampton Roads, VA area.
     
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2012
  16. Steel Head

    Steel Head Tactical Cat

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    My friends of the early thirties didn't last except one.
    The friends I have now are similar to my remaining early friend-genuine good people.
    All the crap I went through as a child was worth it to have the friends I've got now!
     
  17. stolenphot0

    stolenphot0 RTF2 Addict

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    Everyone grows up and moves onto different likes at numerous stages of life. I remember when going from middle school to high school, half my "friends" completely changed. High school friends to college same thing. We casually say hey on Facebook but that is about the end of it. There are still a few high school friends that I would drop everything on a dime for and be right there for them as they would for me.


    I have college friends that I don't speak with all the time, but if they are ever near town, we hang out and catch up like no time had passed.

    I have a few friends I have met from work or just always being in the same places that I hang out with every now & then, but I don't need constant companionship all the time. I have kids, a family, a house and other things to take care of. Rarely is anything planned out a month in advance, usually just a few days before hand. My neighbors and I hang out more than I do with some of my oldest friends.
     
  18. 427

    427

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    Life is too short to be lonely, go out and make some new friends. Start out with a eye contact and an extended hand and say, "Hi, my name is...." and go from there. Works with both men, women and kids, too.
     
  19. Agent6-3/8

    Agent6-3/8

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    Pretty much. Work and family responsibilities certainly can eat up a lot of your time.

    This might be a shock, but some of us actually like spending time with our spouses. :supergrin: With that said, a man certainly needs to make a little time for his friends every now and then.
     
  20. Rabbi

    Rabbi The Bombdiggity Lifetime Member

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    It is common. You are not alone. As we grow, we often grow apart because everyone is on a different path. People will come and go into your life.

    If you dont like it, there are things you can do.

    Join a social club. (Often a "lodge" of some kind)

    Join a service organization. (Rotary/Masons, whatever....)

    Get a hobby and go to the events/clubs associated with that hobby. (Car club, bike club, RC planes, shooting groups)

    Join a government/quasi government group. (Reserve LEO, citizens on patrol, volunteer park ranger, fire fighter, guide at park....)

    Volunteer for causes (habitat for humanity, feed the homeless, meals on wheels)

    Become active in a religious group (whatever is for you, these groups often do a lot of social stuff)

    Take college classes (even in your 30's, at a local Community College you will find a huge social life)

    Become an adult mentor/leader (Cub Scouts/Boy Scouts, Big Brothers....)

    Join an adult sports league. (Adult baseball/softball/bowling....)

    Join a league at a Bar (trivia night/dart league/pool league/poker night)

    Attend events in your area. Keep an eye open (online events calendars, papers, Posting boards at business...look on craigslist under events as well, lots of stuff) for events. (Carnivals/art stuff/festivals/shows...)

    Get a dog and go to Dog places/events such as a local dog park.

    Get a mate who is your best friend.

    Go out of your way to create events (host a dinner, a BBQ a Pot Luck....)

    I actually do most all of these things. While my interest in some of them comes and goes I never lack for anything to do and people to do then with. It actually gets to be too much sometimes.

    You will fing that all of these requires EFFORT. You have to do something.
     
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2012