A man walks into a bar and asks for 2 shots for him and his buddy. Bartender says, "Sure do you want them both now, or do you want me to wait until your buddy gets here first?" The guy says, "Oh I want them both now, I've got my best buddy in my pocket right here." He then pulls out a 3 inch man and puts him on the table. The bartender was astonished. "Do you mean to say he can drink a whole drink?" "Sure, he can drink it all. Pour it on." Sure enough, the bartender watches in amazement as the little guy drinks down two full shots. "That's amazing. Can he walk?" The guy flicks a coin and says, "Hey, Rodney, go get the coin, OK?" and Rodney runs off after it. "Unreal. Can he do anything else? Can he talk?" "Of course he can. Hey Rodney, tell the bartender about the time you called that witch doctor a d*ckhead."