Liquor Warning

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Nowhere Man, Dec 11, 2005.

  1. Nowhere Man

    Nowhere Man

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    LIQUOR WARNING

    Of course this does not apply to you and me, but you may want to pass this
    on to other people to warn them.

    Liquor manufacturers have accepted the Government's
    suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all
    varieties of alcohol containers:
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
    happened to your bra and panties.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering
    when you are not.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
    retard.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over
    and over again that you love them.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
    are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
    converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
    tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
    laughing WITH you.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your
    *** kicked.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcohol may Mack you tink you kan tpye reel
    gode