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Lighter Side - News Item

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Alex_Knight, Jul 10, 2002.

  1. Alex_Knight

    Alex_Knight

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    JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE TO RE-JOIN THE PSYCHIC NETWORK.....


    Blind Psychic Gropes Buttocks to See Future

    Jul 9, 11:02 am ET

    By Nick Tattersall
    BERLIN (Reuters) - Forget palm-reading. A blind German psychic claimed Tuesday he could read people's futures by feeling their naked buttocks.

    Clairvoyant Ulf Buck, 39, claims that people's backsides have lines like those on the palm of the hand, which can be read to reveal much about their character and destiny.

    "The bottom is much more intense -- it has a much stronger power of expression than the hand in my experience," Buck told Reuters. "It goes on developing throughout your life."

    By running his fingers along a number of lines on the surface of a client's posterior, he says he can tell them about their future monetary success, family life, health and happiness.

    He says lines representing success, career and artistic ability extend inwards from the outer extremities of the buttocks, while a further five lines radiate outwards.

    "I began on a circle of friends and the circle grew," Buck said. "I am not a new-age freak. I treat people with great care and conscientiousness."

    Buck, who lives in the northern village of Meldorf, northwest of Hamburg, says all types come to him to have their bottoms read.

    He sees his blindness as a great asset, not least because it means customers do not risk having their identities revealed.

    "All sorts come, from cleaning ladies and secretaries to prominent members of the community. For them, my being blind is an advantage because I can do it without recognizing them again in the future." Buck has been blind since the age of three.

    Although he claims to have spent many years training his fingers, with his index and middle fingers the most sensitive, Buck says even amateur buttock readers can make a broad-brush assessment of people's personalities.

    "An apple-shaped, muscular bottom indicates someone who is charismatic, dynamic, very confident and often creative. A person who enjoys life," he said. "A pear-shaped bottom suggests someone very steadfast, patient and down-to-earth."

    He is quick to shoot down any suggestion that his buttock groping might be motivated by anything other than a genuine desire to probe people's futures.

    "I do not need to feel bottoms for my own pleasure. My wife is quite beautiful enough for me," he said.

    Buck is reluctant to speak about his successes, but says he correctly predicted an actress from a popular German soap-opera was going to write a book, and says a stockbroker has been using his services for over two years.

    "No stockbroker would keep asking a blind clairvoyant to tell them about future stock prices if they didn't believe I could to it," he said.
     
  2. Guest

    Psychics Predict World Didn't End Yesterday
    From The Valley News - [U.S.]
     

  3. mhambi

    mhambi κολασμένος

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    hmmm... heiny haruspication. Now I know what I want to be when I grow up.



    Kinda reminds me of that 'Cam Exam' breast exam commercial out of Canada.
     
  4. Sugarfoot

    Sugarfoot

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    I can do that..And I can see too..
     
  5. bill clancy

    bill clancy

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    If it takes you to grope my butt Alex...I'll do without knowing my future.;m ;P
    I must know my wifes future for several more lifetimes, that baby is well groped ;a
     
  6. R56Pilot

    R56Pilot

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    .....
     
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2015
  7. carbon_15

    carbon_15 1*

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    Ok, maybe I'm deformed or something, but I don't think I have any butt wrinkles for him to read....just one big one;B but I don't know what that ones going to tell him.
     
  8. DWavs

    DWavs Moderator Moderator

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