How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to regs. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp! Rottweiler: Make me. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I? Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch. Irish Setter: Huh? Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark. Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark. Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got this hangover. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares? Australian Kelpie: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle.... Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb? Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz German Shepherd: I'll guard the door and watch the cat while my master changes the light bulb. Cat: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So the question is: how long will it be before I can expect light?