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Lifestyles

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Feb 3, 2004.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2001
    Location:
    Muskogee Ok.
    Women's Lifestyles Through the Ages

    AGE... DRINK
    17... Winecoolers
    25... White wine
    35... Red wine
    48... Dom Perignon
    66... Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser

    EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES
    17... Need to wash my hair
    25... Need to wash and condition my hair
    35... Need to color my hair
    48... Need to have Francois color my hair
    66... Need to have Francois color my wig

    FAVORITE SPORT
    17... shopping
    25... shopping
    35... shopping
    48... shopping
    66... shopping

    FAVORITE DRUG
    17... shopping
    25... shopping
    35... shopping
    48... shopping
    66... shopping

    DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
    17... "Burger King"
    25... "Free meal"
    35... "A diamond"
    48... "A bigger diamond"
    66... "Home Alone"

    FAVORITE FANTASY
    17... tall, dark and handsome
    25... tall, dark and handsome with money
    35... tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
    48... a man with hair
    66... a man

    HOUSE PET
    17... Muffy the cat
    25... Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat
    35... Irish setter and Muffy the Cat
    48... Children from his first marriage and Muffy theCat
    66... Retired husband who dabbles in taxidermy and stuffs Muffy the Cat

    WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
    17... 17
    25... 25
    35... 35
    48... 48
    66... 66

    IDEAL DATE
    17... He offers to pay
    25... He pays
    35... He cooks breakfast the next morning
    48... He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
    66... He can chew breakfast

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Men's Lifestyles Through the Ages

    DRINK at age...
    17... Beer
    25... Beer
    35... Scotch
    48... Double scotch
    66... Maalox

    SEDUCTION LINE at age...
    17... My parents are away for the weekend.
    25... My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
    35... My fiancee is away for the weekend.
    48... My wife is away for the weekend.
    66... My second wife is dead.

    FAVORITE SPORT at age...
    17... Sex
    25... Sex
    35... Sex
    48... Sex
    66... Napping

    FAVORITE DRUG at age...
    17... Pot
    25... Cocaine
    35... Really good cocaine
    48... Power
    66... Advil

    DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE at age...
    17... Cop a feel
    25... Breakfast
    35... She didn't set back my therapy
    48... I didn't bump into her kids.
    66... An actual erection

    FAVORITE FANTASY at age...
    17... Thirdbase
    25... Airplane sex
    35... Menage a trois
    48... Taking her company public
    66... Swiss maid and/or Nazi love slave

    HOUSE PET at age...
    17... Roaches (to be burned later)
    25... Old college roommate
    35... Irish setter
    48... Children from her first marriage
    66... Barbi

    THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED at age...
    17... 25
    25... 35
    35... 48
    48... 66
    66... 17

    IDEAL DATE at age...
    17... Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in
    25... Split the check before we go back to my place
    35... Just come over
    48... Just come over and cook
    66... Sex in the company jet on the way to Vegas to see Frank