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Life's Math

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by deputydawg558, Sep 23, 2002.

  1. deputydawg558

    deputydawg558

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    ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

    Smart man + smart woman = romance
    Smart man + dumb woman = affair
    Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
    Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy


    OFFICE ARITHMETIC

    Smart boss + smart employee = profit
    Smart boss + dumb employee = production
    Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
    Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime


    SHOPPING MATH

    A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
    A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.


    GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


    HAPPINESS

    To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
    To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.


    LONGEVITY

    Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.


    PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.


    DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

    A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


    HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:

    Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
    They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
     
  2. MarksGlock22

    MarksGlock22 The Punisher

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    Oh,That is so wrong,Yet so very,very funny.;f ;a ;f ;a ;f ;a
     

  3. Steve Koski

    Steve Koski Got Insurance? Millennium Member

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  4. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    ;N ;N ;N ;+ ;+ ;+ ;+ ;+ ;V ;V ;V ;V ;W ;W ;W ;I ;I ;I ;;i ;;j
     
  5. igrp

    igrp ut supra

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    Something to show to the significant other (hey, the playstation is by the couch, and least I won't be bored ;f). :cool:

    [​IMG]