close

Privacy guaranteed - Your email is not shared with anyone.

Life explained

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Oct 5, 2002.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    Messages:
    64,670
    Likes Received:
    1,546
    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2001
    Location:
    Muskogee Ok.
    On the first day, God created the cow. God said, "You must go to field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."

    The cow said, "That's a kind of a tough life you want me to live
    for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the
    other forty."

    And God agreed.

    On the second day, God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."

    The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give back the other ten."

    So God agreed (sigh).

    On the third day, God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span."

    Monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I
    don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too,
    okay?"

    And God agreed again.

    On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you twenty
    years."

    Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way, man. Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty cow gave back, and the ten dog gave back and the ten monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?"

    "Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."

    So that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, have
    sex, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.

    Life has now been explained.
     
  2. Eddie C.

    Eddie C. Administrator Moderator CLM

    Messages:
    5,094
    Likes Received:
    33
    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2002
    Location:
    State of Confusion
    okie,
    You've explained one of lifes mysteries. Beautiful!;i ;i ;i
     

  3. AC37

    AC37 SystemicAnomaly

    Messages:
    4,781
    Likes Received:
    335
    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2000
    Location:
    Provo, UT
    I got shorted on the first twenty. :(