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Letter from Santa Claus

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by ERASER, Nov 16, 2003.

  1. ERASER

    ERASER Nyuk,Nyuk,Nyuk!

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    Jan 23, 2000
    I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good
    this year and since you have, I will be telling my elves to make
    some goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas.

    I was going to bring you all gifts from the 12 days of Christmas,
    but we had a little problem.

    The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with VD from fiddling
    with the 10 ladies dancing, the 11 lords a-leaping have knocked up
    the 8 maids a-milking, and the 9 pipers piping have been arrested
    for doing weird things to the 7 swans a-swimming.

    The 6 geese a-laying, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle
    doves and the partridge in a pear tree have me up to my sled
    runners in bird ****.

    On top of all this, Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, 8 of my
    reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined the gay liberation,
    and some people who can't read a calendar have scheduled Christmas
    for the 5th of January.

    Maybe next year I will be able to get my **** together and bring
    you the things you want. This year, I suggest you get your asses
    down to Walmart before everything is gone.

    Sincerely,
    Santa Claus