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Learn to speak Southern...

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Jul 29, 2003.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    Location:
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    Before heading south for a vacation, it may be a good idea to learn the language of our southern brothers and sisters. And we're here to help...

    Hah Tu Spek Suthun:

    BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
    Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

    JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
    Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."

    MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
    Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I taint herd from him in munts."

    ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
    Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

    FAR - noun. A conflagration.
    Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."

    BAHS - noun. A supervisor.
    Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"

    TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
    Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

    TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
    Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

    RETARD - Verb. To stop working.
    Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65."

    RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.
    Usage: "We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats."

    FARN - adjective. Not local.
    Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."

    JU-HERE - a question.
    Usage: "Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson recently toured the University of Alabama?"

    HAZE - a contraction.
    Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert."

    VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun.
    Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"

    GUMMIT - Noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution.
    Usage: "Great ... ANOTHER gummit shutdown!"
     
  2. Pack26

    Pack26

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    Fixin' sometimes used as "fixin' to git ready"