Law of Cat Magnetism: All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric. Law of Cat Stretching: A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken. Law of Cat Sleeping: All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat. Law of Cat Elongation: A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it. Law of Cat Obstruction: A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum anount of human foot traffic. Law of Dinner Table Attendance: Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served. law of Obedience Resistance: A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do anything. Law of Refrigerator Observation: If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat. Law of Bag/Box Occupancy: All bags and boxes within a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond. Law of Cat Embarrassment: A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter. Law of Furniture Replacement: A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture. Law of Cat Landing: A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the mid-section of an unsuspecting, reclining human. Law of Cat Disinterest: A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort oa human expends in trying to interest him. Law of Pill Rejection: Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity. Law of Cat Composition: A cat is composed of Matter+ Anti-Matter+ It Doesn't Matter.