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Laws of Cat Physics

Discussion in 'Woof Memorial Critter's Corner' started by Glockgirl26, Jan 27, 2006.

  1. Glockgirl26

    Glockgirl26

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    Law of Cat Magnetism: All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

    Law of Cat Stretching: A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

    Law of Cat Sleeping: All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.

    Law of Cat Elongation: A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.

    Law of Cat Obstruction: A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum anount of human foot traffic.

    Law of Dinner Table Attendance: Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

    law of Obedience Resistance: A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do anything.

    Law of Refrigerator Observation: If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

    Law of Bag/Box Occupancy: All bags and boxes within a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

    Law of Cat Embarrassment: A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

    Law of Furniture Replacement: A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

    Law of Cat Landing: A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the mid-section of an unsuspecting, reclining human.

    Law of Cat Disinterest: A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort oa human expends in trying to interest him.

    Law of Pill Rejection: Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.

    Law of Cat Composition: A cat is composed of Matter+ Anti-Matter+ It Doesn't Matter.
     
  2. Sapperstang

    Sapperstang Paratrooper

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  3. MrsKitty

    MrsKitty

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    >^..^<
  4. UtahIrishman

    UtahIrishman BLR

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    Very good GlockGirl...I agree with everyone of them :)

    I'll add one

    Law of Cats and Stairs: The percentage of space taken up at the top of the stairs by the cat(s) is in direct proportion to the height of the stairs and available light. ;a
     
  5. ATL Peach Girl

    ATL Peach Girl ♥Meezers♥

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    Glockgirl.......

    spot on!!! spot on!! ;a

    >^..^<
     
  6. Walter45Auto

    Walter45Auto

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    Awesome, Glockgirl.;f And so true. We need to get a cat smiley and a doberman smiley on here.


    ;g






    ;8 ;I
     
  7. Glockgirl26

    Glockgirl26

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    Oh, that's good!

    We need to hit Patricia up for those kitty smilies...
     
  8. DocH

    DocH Man of Sorrows

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    Those are all so true,I'm not sure which should be number 1.
    I especially agree with the bag,box. Our calico,Muffin,is a REALLY FAT girl. Unpack a new deep fryer,toss the box in the floor,and she's in it.Same with bags.
    I think if we threw a matchbox in the floor she'd try to cram her big butt in it.