Last wishes

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Apr 22, 2007.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    Oct 28, 2001
    Muskogee Ok.
    Dan Rather, Jesse Jackson, Cokie Roberts, and a Marine were hiking through the
    jungle ...
    ... one day when they were captured by cannibals. They were tied up, led to
    the village and brought before the chief.
    The chief said, "I am familiar with your western custom of granting the
    condemned a last wish. Before we kill and eat you, do you have any last
    Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful of
    hot, spicy chili."
    The chief nodded to an underling, who left and returned with the chili. Rather
    ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."
    Jesse Jackson said, "You know, the thing in this life I am proudest of is my
    work on behalf of the poor and oppressed. So before I go, I want to sing "We
    Shall Overcome" one last time."
    The chief said, "Go right ahead, we're listening."
    Jackson sang the song, and then said, "Now I can die in peace."
    Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape
    recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe someday
    someon will hear it and know that I was on the job 'til the end."
    The chief directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder, and Roberts
    dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."
    The chief turned and said, "And now, Mr. Marine, what is your final wish?"
    "Kick me in the ass," said the Marine.
    "What?" said the chief. "Will you mock us in your last hour?"
    "No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass," insisted the Marine.
    So the chief shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass.
    The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from
    his waistband, and shot the chief dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to
    his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine, and sprayed the cannibals with gunfire.
    In a flash, the cannibals were dead or fleeing for their lives.
    As the Marine was untying the others, they asked him, "Why didn't you just
    shoot them? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass?"
    "What!?" said the Marine, "And have you liberals call ME the aggressor?!?"