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Ladies with gun shy husbands?

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by runnergirl, Jan 25, 2005.

  1. runnergirl

    runnergirl

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    So, normally, it's the guy getting the girl to go to the range. In my case, I have to coax hubby every inch of the way. It's taken months, but I finally got him to the range to take the CCW class this past weekend, and 90% of the time he seems ok or even positive about me buying a gun. I think he'll be uncomfortable if I start carrying when I'm with him though.

    My main reason for carrying is when I'm running alone, but I plan to carry when possible and when going into less safe/more populated areas.

    Anyone else have this problem? It's not that bad, it's just an akward dynamic. The ironic thing is, I met him on a range 7 years ago;g but now he's borderline anti-gun. Go figure!
     
  2. ubimow

    ubimow

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    My husband doesn't carry but he keeps one in his vehicle. I am the one who carries everywhere I go. As far as your husband being "uncomfortable" if you carry when your with him...so what? You are an adult and are capable of making your own decisions. If he asks you, "why?" just tell him because you want to and he should respect your decision.
     

  3. Melissa Ann

    Melissa Ann

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    Wow! That is a flip from the "norm." Why has he changed his tune?? If you met him on the range, and he enjoyed shooting back then, something must have happened to make him move toward anti.

    People tease my boyfriend and I, telling him he better stay in line since I know how to shoot. I'd never shoot someone unless I was in fear for my life. I certainly wouldn't shoot out of rage or anything. I wonder if some men are afraid of that though. Something to think about....

    What would I do if I was married to someone who was uncomfortable with me carrying?? Ask him if he'd rather I was mugged or raped when out running alone. Then tell him it's my right (even responsibility) to protect myself and my loved ones (including him). That while cops do their best, they cant' be everywhere at one time, and when it hits the fan, you want to be prepared. Drawing and firing at an attacker takes significantly less time than calling 9-1-1 and waiting for the calvary to come and clean up the mess the bad guys made of me. Those are things I have advised men to tell their wives who don't want them to carry. Doesnt' work a lot of the time, but some times it at least helps the other understand, or provides an arguement/s they can't really argue with anymore.

    Take care and stay safe. Stick to your guns on this one (yes, pun intended) ;)
    Melissa
     
  4. SouthernGal

    SouthernGal What's Up Dox?

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    My (very) EX-husband never had a problem with my carrying. He had a permit as well and carried pretty much most of the time.

    Now that we're divorced though, I can see your point VERY clearly. A few months ago I had a 2nd date with a guy who felt my IWB G19 and our 2nd date quickly became our LAST date--he never called me again. I'm not sure what his problem was because the date seemed to go fine. I believe I've called him a wuss more than once.

    One of the two guys I'm seeing now has no problem with my carrying, understands why I do, but does act somewhat concerned that I carry with one up the chamber. The other one calls me a "defensive woman" (whatever that means) and doesn't understand it but tolerates it. I find this ironic since he's an avid hunter and a former SEC football player (I should mention he does not own a single pistol).

    I'm not sure what it is that turns some jock or hunter men into "anti" gun type people when the roles are reversed.
     
  5. Cat91

    Cat91 Red Tabby

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    Weird.

    My hubby has a permit but never carries. He does, however, insist that *I* have my .357 with me everywhere I go. It was his idea that I start packin' heat in the first place. He says he feels safer about me being on the road and all (I work 50 miles away) with the gun close by.

    Miao, Cat
     
  6. MrsKitty

    MrsKitty

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    Do any of you think this male fear of women with firearms who are ready to protect themselves irrationality stems from them thinking that we don't NEED them? We can protect ourselves so we don't need them to do that for us. Thus, they feel like less of a man. Did that make any sense? ;g :)
     
  7. SouthernGal

    SouthernGal What's Up Dox?

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    I've thought something along those lines, that by our arming ourselves that we are assuming a dominant role in protecting ourselves. Normally, this is the type of role a man would play (as "protector"). I think this threatens them for some reason.

    I tried to explain this concept to the former FB player--he's about 6'5" and about 215 or so (that's easily TWICE my size) by putting it this way--if he and I were walking down the same street on different occassions and someone decided to mug us, who do YOU think they'd be more likely to choose? It seems logical to me that I'd be what most perps would think would be an "easy" target in comparison to him because on the surface I pose less of a physical threat.

    Unfortunately, I'm not married to either of these guys so I carry instead. I'm finding the older I get the less I tend to tolerate those who talk down to me for carrying.
     
  8. Melissa Ann

    Melissa Ann

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    How you carry yourself/present yourself has a lot to do with the "easy target" concept as well. I'm a big girl but a fella had no qualms about seeking me out as an easy target a few years ago. Apparently there are times when I get a "scared kitten" look about me, look to the ground, and just look weak. Well, he zoned in on that and met me at my car in an empty parking lot. When I saw he had a knife in his hand, I reacted, refusing to be a victim. In the end, he was lying on the ground, in a fetal position, rocking back and forth crying and I drove off in my car yelling out the window not to mess with redheads (I punted his "nads" up between his ears). A smaller woman, carrying herself confidently would not look like as easy a target as a heavier girl, looking scared of the world.
    Maybe. Certainly a lot of men have pretty fragile psyches. ;)

    When I'm out with my bf, I tend to be less aware than if I'm alone. Is that to let him know I need him? I doubt it, it's more likely a subconscious decision on my part, knowing that he's alert and ready to protect me at all times. He likes that I can shoot, and fairly well. At competitions, he's thrilled when I do better than him on a stage or two (I've never beaten him completely - doubt I ever will) but once in a while, I'll do good in one stage and it's so cool to have him cheering for me when I do. He likes that I can take care of myself if I need to. I don't know about other fellas - though a lot of my shooting buddy friends are glad to know I can take care of myself too.

    I tend to think the male aversion to women with guns has more to do with men fearing retribution from the women if they do wrong. Like a fella beating the crap out of his wife, could be nervous if she starts carrying a gun, fearing that she'll put a cap in him while he's sleeping. Or if he cheats on her, she might think that's deserving of a lead injection.

    Men have been dominant for so long, maybe it's inherent for some of them to fear a woman being dominant, or at least empowered.

    Interesting thoughts....
    Melissa :)
     
  9. Cat91

    Cat91 Red Tabby

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    There's a certain class of guy that's like that. I used to do our domestic violence prosecutions and it always gives me a charge to get one on the stand and rip into him like Leatherface trying out a new Craftsman on Friday night :D .... "How's it feel to be the victim, sucka?!" ;a

    It never fails. They always get mad and shoot off their mouths in front of the jury. And then I convict their narrow asses and send 'em to jail! Muahahahaha.

    Miao, Cat
     
  10. polygonal

    polygonal

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    I consider my wife "my equal" she is not just my wife but my Best friend. I fully respect her wishes and she mine. I almost always carry my G36 or bigger, and when my wife carries I feel we are almost invincable. Guys that are unhappy with their wife carrying have an ego problem as far as I am concerned. ;5
     
  11. runnergirl

    runnergirl

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    The more I discuss this with him the better he seems to feel about me carrying.

    I agree there's an element of fear that because women are overly emotional they'll use the gun against their boyfriend/husband. I've asured him if he ever cheats I won't shoot him, I'll find a lawyer to evicerate him. (Bree on desperate housewives is my hero;f )

    We're a strange breed of republican, our main news source is NPR and PBS, so I think over time that has skewed his views on guns somewhat. I just have to provide some pro-gun balence. A recent op-ed in the London telegraph was very helpful.

    He's not a macho/ego type guy, and readily admits I could kick his *** (I take a lot of self defense classes), I think there may be some guilt that he's not home to protect me (he's on the road 4 days a week).
     
  12. reinbeau

    reinbeau

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    Sandanista Radio will do that to you! ;)
     
  13. pete1953

    pete1953

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    I am overjoyed that my wife Lynn shoots, has taken training and gotten her Florida LTC. She has one for carry now, but she usually borrows one of mine.When finances allow I'll get another for her. My daughters shoot rifles, but only my youngest with shoot handguns. All three understand the need and God given right to defend themselves and their loved ones. My wife is mentally prepared, as well as physically, to protect herself and family. I love them, care and protect them as best as I can, but ultimately they have to be alert and proactive in staying safe. We all need to come home safe at the end of the day!
     
  14. vote Republican

    vote Republican White and nerdy Moderator

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    Put them on GT so we can straighten them out.
     
  15. MrsKitty

    MrsKitty

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    That is a good idea! ;N
     
  16. Gary F

    Gary F

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    "unfortunately (you) are not married to either of these guys ...." hmmm ... ;Q ; maybe you meant fortunately??
     
  17. Perry F.

    Perry F.

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    I want a woman like on of you, I can't get my wife to go shooting. :(
     
  18. Mrs. VR

    Mrs. VR Sharon, you will be missed.

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    now I know where you've been hanging out! ;) ;f

    We cant carry here, so it's not an issue, but Im pretty darn confident that if we COULD VR would have no issue with it...in fact, he finally nagged me into qualifying for IPSC so I can shoot it with him. Dont think he'd be a bit intimidated if I was able to protect myself on a regular basis, I suspect he'd be annoyed if I didnt!:cool:
     
  19. vote Republican

    vote Republican White and nerdy Moderator

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    See my sig line.

    The second part.

    :cool:
     
  20. Jack23

    Jack23 I. B. Glockin'

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    I have always believed that fire arms are not the weapon of choice for every one. But if a person is so inclined I don't believe that gender has anything to do with a persons abilities to handle them or their willingness to use them. It's a personal choice.

    I just feel that a person, man or woman, should carefully select the pistol or revolver that is best suited to their own needs, preferences, circumstances, and capabilities. Then they should take some training and safety courses and practice, practice, practice.

    I wish my wife would shoot with me but she is one of those that is not suited to fire arms. I've been married to two women and they both hated guns. I think next time I'll marry me a shooter! ;f