close

Privacy guaranteed - Your email is not shared with anyone.

Just got into a fight with my wife...

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by Tilley, Jun 19, 2012.

  1. Tilley

    Tilley Man of Steel

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2006
    Messages:
    1,750
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    USA
    We are both in our 50's and she just graduated college with two Bachelors (cum laude) and is going to get her Master's in the Fall. For years we have been living off my income and frankly if I have $1.00, then I probably have 95 cents in bills...but our bills are paid and I thought we had a nice life otherwise.

    She said we need to get on a budget and I guess I had my pride injured as if I wasn't good enough. We had words and things were said that we're unkind. I am very proud of her, but I don't feel as if she is very proud of me.

    How big of a wuss am I?
     
  2. sierrafast

    sierrafast Coleccionista

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2007
    Messages:
    1,276
    Likes Received:
    27
    Location:
    Southern TX
    A big one. She is using you. Any small children?
     

  3. jakebrake

    jakebrake cracker

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2011
    Messages:
    7,925
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    too close to philly
    not a wuss. my wife has a masters. me....uh.....

    anyway. i work a lot. she has to constantly take additional classes. she gave me a beautiful daughter, has put up with my recovering alcoholic, gun owning butt for 16 years.

    are you being hypersensitive? yeah. does she mean to wrong you? nope. saying you're not good enough? sorry. but no.

    go hug her, tell her your sorry, and thank God for the woman that gave you all those years.

    anyone ever tells my wife i said any of this, and i WILL deny it.
     
  4. IGotIt

    IGotIt No Demlibtards

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2011
    Messages:
    1,463
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    On The Edge
    That's an easy fix, go buy a new gun.

    Seriously, fights and spats with spouses are not fun. It appears the stress of her schooling and you working are tugging at each others ego.

    If you have a couple nickels to rub together, why not take an inexpensive weekend trip somewhere.
     
  5. rhikdavis

    rhikdavis U.S. Veteran

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2002
    Messages:
    7,682
    Likes Received:
    468
    Location:
    In Remembrance
    Tell her to get a damn job with her brand new edjumacation.
     
  6. riddler

    riddler

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2001
    Messages:
    1,190
    Likes Received:
    2
    just tell her to get a job so you can go to school yourself...! I believe that it is her turn to pay the bills while you get to update/upgrade your education.
     
  7. NMG26

    NMG26

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2010
    Messages:
    7,724
    Likes Received:
    354
    Location:
    Colorado
    Women like to talk about feelings. You got your ego hurt. Explain it to her. My wife and I read books together (She reads, I listen, we talk) on touchy feely topics like "ego". It helps.

    On occasion I feel like my wife does not like me as much as she loves me.

    I get over it.
     
  8. 8-Ball

    8-Ball Old Soul

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2004
    Messages:
    3,921
    Likes Received:
    18
    Location:
    Illinois
    I feel your pain. I'm in the almost exact same position and I'm about done with it. Not all the feelings stuff, I mean the part about living off of only my income. Pisses me off. I know she just got out of school and she's trying, but damn.
     
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2012
  9. pugman

    pugman

    Joined:
    May 16, 2003
    Messages:
    6,280
    Likes Received:
    493
    Location:
    Wisconsin
    Before I will say a thing - what are the degrees in?

    Advanced Mathematics, Engineering....something she can actually get a job with?

    If you tell me Journalism, Literature, Social Services, Political Science or the like....then I would have a few words for her.

    I say this because a friend's wife completed her BBA...in English. I joke with her isn't this the language you speak?

    Anyway...$50,000 in student loans and three years later she is working at a Mcdonald's.

    I buy lottery tickets from the same place every week. I joke with the clerk if I win I will come in and give her $10K....she says what she needs is $80k to pay off her student loans?

    She works at a Kwik Trip making probably $10-11/hour.
     
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2012
  10. jakebrake

    jakebrake cracker

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2011
    Messages:
    7,925
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    too close to philly
    thanks pugman...forgot that. if it's psychology, get her a Kohl's application...she's gonna need it.
     
  11. pugman

    pugman

    Joined:
    May 16, 2003
    Messages:
    6,280
    Likes Received:
    493
    Location:
    Wisconsin
    I have several friends with Psych degrees...

    One is my brother who went the route of Computer Server Engineer and makes a six figure salary. His four years in school was a complete waste of time.

    If you want to go the route of Psych two cousins who are both psychologists pretty much said without a Doctorate you are working in a prison...maybe a high school counselor...

    You ain't billing $150-$200/hour
     
  12. zoyter2

    zoyter2 Yeah, so what?

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2002
    Messages:
    4,697
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Anniston, Alabama
    I gonna go out on a limb here and say that if he were to do this, divorce will be within a year.
     
  13. jakebrake

    jakebrake cracker

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2011
    Messages:
    7,925
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    too close to philly
    aint that the truth? wife's masters....i digress....
     
  14. .264 magnum

    .264 magnum CLM

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2002
    Messages:
    13,168
    Likes Received:
    784
    Location:
    Dallas TX
    Overreact much?
     
  15. M1A Shooter

    M1A Shooter

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2009
    Messages:
    3,605
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Clarksville, TN
    i can already see this coming. my wife is in her senior year for social work and already talking about a masters degree.
     
  16. mtpisgah

    mtpisgah

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2008
    Messages:
    589
    Likes Received:
    48
    Location:
    Upstate South Carolina
    When I met my wife to be, she said she wanted to go back to school to her her PhD in education. We married and she mentioned it a few more times over the years. Finally I told her to do it (three years after being married). She had a good job but was not happy at it so it made sense to move on.

    She went back to school full time so we did not made as much for about three years. I knew when she graduated that she would find another job but that she would probably not make much more than she had before with just her masters, that is just they way it is with her field. I was OK with that because it was something that was important to her to do.

    After she graduated and got a new job, she was making the same amount of money. She is a lot happier where she is now though so it was worth every penny.

    She did let me splurge afterwards and buy a few toys but there is no way it made up for the income we lost during her time in school. It was still worth every penny because it was important to her.

    My question for the OP is: did you agree to her going back to school? Did you know how long it would take? Has it taken significantly longer? Is she making very good grades or just skating by? What are her job prospects when she gets out and does it matter if she makes a lot of money vs. being happy?
     
  17. arclight610

    arclight610

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2009
    Messages:
    3,038
    Likes Received:
    2
    Apologize for any unkind words said, get on a budget, then make some more babies.
     
  18. DaneA

    DaneA

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2011
    Messages:
    2,501
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Chattanooga
    Go apologize. Get her some flowers. And sit down and talk about the situation like ADULTS. It boggles my mind how grown adults can still fight like children.

    Personally, you two are in your 50's. What good are these degrees going to do for her, you, your family? Unless she suddenly starts making 200k a year there is no ROI.
     
  19. Tilley

    Tilley Man of Steel

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2006
    Messages:
    1,750
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    USA
    This was something she had always regretted not doing, so yes, I pushed her to do it. It as taken longer by virtue of one of the majors. I also encouraged the Master's because she will need the clout and the broader range of opportunities a Master's can give.

    She graduated Cum Laude on both degree's. She wants to teach in a Catholic School environment. Opportunites? Who knows...


    Women were so much easier when I was single. At the end of the day I was still master of my castle. We have been married 10 years and she's still the CEO.
     
  20. INJoker

    INJoker Simply Charming

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2007
    Messages:
    4,883
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Indiana
    I have a good friend who is a very hard worker.

    One time he was telling me how his wife does everything around the house - cleaning, laundry, cooking, etc. She is in school and on a very flexible schedule and he works 50+ hours a week.

    He said, "It's a great way to live man. I'm not exaggerating when I say this... I don't know what the laundry basket or the vacuum at my house look like."

    I said, "How is that possible?"

    He said, "She doesn't know what a bill looks like."

    Food for thought.