So after remaining conscious through a quiet night shift I found myself taking one last lap around my beat before heading into the barn. As I passed by a new office building under construction I came upon a car stopped in the roadway adjacent to the construction fence. Now, this was not too uncommon at this time of morning. The construction gates opened at about 0600, and there were normally several cars waiting in the area to drop off workers. Not in the mood for giving a ticket so close to the end of my shift I started to drive around the stopped car. As I passed, I notice that the driver seemed to have fallen asleep behind the wheel, presumably waiting for the gates to open. It was about 0630, and workers could be seen going about there business inside. I chuckled, and thought about this poor sap sleeping away, while his buddies took bets on how long would take him to wake up. I backed up, pulled in behind the car, and got out to tell this yahoo it was time to go to work. It was just a wake up call, so I didn't bother calling off with dispatch. I walked up to the car, and looked into the open drivers side window. Imaging my surprise when I see that my sleeping driver has his pants around his knees and his wanker in his hand. Time to re-evaluate. And gather evidence! Without waking up sleeping beauty I walked back to my car and grabed the digital camera. I also did what I should have done the first time; notify dispatch. I walked back up to the car and took a couple snap shots for the DA’s office. After tossing the camera in my pocket I woke sleepy-head with a couple sharp wraps on the roof. As sleepy began to open his eyes and look at me I hear the alert tone broadcast over the radio, followed by my call sign. “L7, your vehicle is stolen out of our agency. Is there a unit available to assist?” Before sleepy gets his wits about him I opened the door, scooped him out, and provided him with state issued nickel plated bracelets. So lets review… Bad guy steals car. Bad guy stops in road to, um, well, rub one out in before mentioned stolen car. At some point bad guy: a) becomes exhausted from the effort and decides to take a nap, or b) finishes, and is so relieved he is overtaken by sleep. Either way, the case has become something of a benchmark for stupid criminals at the local DA’s office. I was saddened that this did not go to trail.