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Joke Time!

Discussion in 'Band of Glockers' started by isuzu, Oct 10, 2009.

  1. isuzu

    isuzu

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Location:
    North America
    Mr: Hon, buksan mo ang pinto!
    Mrs: Sori, hindi pwede. Wala akong suot.
    Mr. (tumawa) ok lang. Wala akong kasama.
    Mrs: Ako, meron!
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Tip for a long life:
    Wag mo isusulat name mo sa condolence book pagdumalaw ka sa patay.
    Kasi pagkatapos ng libing nagkakaron ng raffle
    kung sinong susunod....
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Guro: Pedro late kana naman.
    Pedro: Late po kasi relo ko.
    Guro: Problema ba yun. E di i-advance mo.
    Pedro: Sige po.
    Guro: Oh, saan ka pupunta?
    Boy: uwian na!
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Mrs: Kung alam ko lang di sana ako nagpakasal saiyo! ABS ka!
    Mr: Anong ABS?
    Mrs: Alak, Babae, Sugal!!
    Mr: Eh ikaw CBN!
    Mrs: CBN?
    Mr: Chismosa, Bungangera, Nagger!.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    May dalawang lalaki sabay nag jogging:
    Guy 1: Pre, doctor ako. Kaya ako tumatakbo kasi
    HEALTH conscious ako!
    Ikaw pre?
    Guy 2: Snatcher pre! WEALTH conscious ako.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Bakit binaril ng bobo ang girlfriend nya?
    Kasi sinubukan nya kung totoong FIRST LOVE NEVER
    DIES!
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Pasahero: Mama, dahan-dahan lang po. Alalahanin nyo na palaging
    nakasunod sa atin ang disgrasya!
    Drayber: E, kaya ko nga binibilisan para di tayo abutan!
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------(sa isang turo-turo):
    Customer: Manang, meh langaw sa arrozcaldo ko!
    Tindera: Hello! Sa halagang P5.00 anong ini-expect
    mo....manok?
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------PO 1: Bakit po K-9 ang tawag sa malalaking aso, sir!
    SUPT: Syempre pag tinawag mo silang K-10, hindi na sila aso
    PO 1: Ano na sila sir?
    SUPT: maliit na pusa...
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Anak: Nay, yung girlfriend ko hindi naniniwala sa langit at impierno.
    Nanay: Sige, pakasalan mo anak, ipatikim mo sa kanya ang langit, ako na ang bahala sa impierno.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    A husband asked his wife, "What do you like most in me, my macho face or my sexy body?
    The wife looked at him from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor".
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    A guy picks up a girl for a date.
    "Why are you wearing your belt around your knee?
    Girl: I promised mom that I wouldn't let you touch me below my belt....
     
  2. g17green

    g17green

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  3. nrmcolt

    nrmcolt What?

    Joined:
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    Raccoon City
  4. atmarcella

    atmarcella

    Joined:
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    3,767
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    Location:
    overwatch....
    eto pinaka gusto ko hehe.
     
  5. CatsMeow

    CatsMeow

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2007
    Messages:
    2,606
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    Location:
    Manila, imported from Cebu City
    :rofl::rofl:

    Ah, something to take my mind off my sometimes grim work.