A rabbi wanted to raise money for his synagogue and on being told there was a fortune in horse-racing, decided to purchase a horse and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for a horse was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third. -The next day the local paper carried this headline: RABBI'S *** SHOWS. The rabbi was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won. The local paper read: RABBI'S *** OUT FRONT. The Shul president was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the rabbi not to enter the donkey in another race. Then next day, the local paper's headline read: SHUL PRESIDENT SCRATCHES RABBI'S *** This was too much for the Shul president, so he ordered the rabbi to get rid of the donkey. The rabbi decided to give it to the rebbetzin. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: REBBETZIN HAS BEST *** IN TOWN. The Shul president fainted. He informed the rebbetzin that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for ten dollars. The next day, the paper read: REBBETZIN SELLS *** FOR $10. This was too much for the Shul president, so he ordered the rebbetzin to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. Headlines read: REBBETZIN ANNOUNCES HER *** IS WILD AND FREE. The Shul president was buried the next day.