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Jesus vs. Elvis

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by ChuteTheMall, Aug 24, 2002.

  1. ChuteTheMall

    ChuteTheMall Wallbuilder and Weapon Bearer

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    JESUS vs. ELVIS
    __________________

    JESUS and ELVIS - Coincidence, or Cosmic Plan?

    JESUS was a carpenter.
    ELVIS' favorite high school class was wood shop.

    JESUS said: "Love thy neighbor." (Matthew 22:39)
    ELVIS said: "Don't be cruel." (RCA 1956)

    JESUS was part of the Trinity.
    ELVIS' very first band was a trio.

    JESUS walked on water. (Matthew 14:25)
    ELVIS surfed on water. (Blue Hawaii, Paramount:1965)

    JESUSS' entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members.
    ELVIS' entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members.

    JESUS said, "If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink." (John 7:37)
    ELVIS said, "Drinks on me!" (Jailhouse Rock, MGM:1957)

    JESUS said: "Man shall not live by bread alone."
    ELVIS liked his sandwiches with peanut butter and bananas.

    Mary, an important woman in JESUS' life, had an Immaculate Conception. Priscilla, an important woman in
    ELVIS' life, attended Immaculate Conception High School.

    JESUS H. CHRIST has 12 letters.
    ELVIS PRESLEY has 12 letters.

    No one knows what the "H" in "JESUS H. Christ" stood for.
    No one was really sure if ELVIS' middle name was "Aron" or "Aaron".

    JESUS had his famous Resurrection.
    ELVIS had the famous 1968 "comeback" TV special.

    JESUS lived in a state of grace, in a Near Eastern land.
    ELVIS lived in Graceland, in a nearly eastern state.
     
  2. Alex_Knight

    Alex_Knight

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  3. thisaway

    thisaway

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    The "H" in "Jesus H. Christ" stands for Howard. VERY rarely, I have heard some of the old-timers around here say "JESUS HOWARD CHRIST!" when upset about something.
     
  4. big joe

    big joe

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    King of Rock.... King of Kings...... hmmmmmmmmm......?
     
  5. Volponi

    Volponi wiseguy

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    thisaway is correct. The middle initial "H" does indeed stand for "Howard". As supporting evidence, I offer this snippet of prayer which you might be familiar with.

    "Our Father.... in Heaven... Howard be thy name..."
     
  6. Steve Koski

    Steve Koski Got Insurance? Millennium Member

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    thisaway. I haven't laughed like that for a while. Thanks. "Howard"
     
  7. ChuteTheMall

    ChuteTheMall Wallbuilder and Weapon Bearer

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    Jesus' last words: "It is finished."

    Elvis' last words: "BARRRRRFFFFFFFFFF!"