close

Privacy guaranteed - Your email is not shared with anyone.

Jesus And The Redneck

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by barnettbill, Dec 23, 2003.

  1. barnettbill

    barnettbill

    Messages:
    181
    Likes Received:
    2
    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2003
    Location:
    Abilene TX
    JESUS AND THE REDNECK

    An Irishman in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Irishman looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitress nodded "yes," so the Irishman told her to give Jesus a cup of coffee on him.


    The next patron to come in was an Englishman with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over there?" The waitress nodded, so the Englishman said to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."

    The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Redneck on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there, sweet thang. How's about gittin' me a cold glass of Coke!" He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that God's boy settin’ over there?" The waitress once more nodded, so the Redneck said to give Jesus a cold glass of Coke, "On my bill."


    As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Irishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Irishman felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.

    Jesus also passed by the Englishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Englishman felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of backflips out the door.


    Then Jesus walked towards the Redneck. The Redneck jumped up and yelled, "Don't you touch me...I'm drawin' disability!"
     
    taffbanjo likes this.
  2. JHS

    JHS Millennium Member

    Messages:
    90
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 8, 1999
    Location:
    Goodwell, Okla.

  3. EvilWayz

    EvilWayz NVMQVAM IGNOSCERE, NVMQVAM OBLIVISCI

    Messages:
    1,874
    Likes Received:
    506
    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2015
    Location:
    Dixie
    And you even got the drink right! Although seems like the Irishman would send Jesus a pint, or a shot of Jameson's.
     
  4. NMG26

    NMG26

    Messages:
    7,955
    Likes Received:
    669
    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2010
    Location:
    Colorado
    "Flock not little fear".
    -Jesus after turning the water into wine.
     
  5. ALDIS

    ALDIS

    Messages:
    811
    Likes Received:
    160
    Joined:
    May 25, 2007
    I should know better than to read GT while drinking tea.
    Going to have to get a key board cover or not drink iced tea while here.
    Thank you for the laugh, had to use my inhaler, yep, correct question - - -
    Is that ______'s boy/girl?