A man was sitting relaxing in an airplane when another guy dropped into the seat beside him. This new guy was a pale wreck. His hands were shaking; he was biting his nails; he was moaning in low tones. "Hey, pal, what's the matter?" said the first man. "Oh my God. I've been transferred to Los Angeles, California," the second answered. "Los Angeles has race riots, rampant street drugs, and the highest crime rate in America." "Hold on," said the first man. "I've lived in Los Angeles all my life, and it's not as bad as the media portrays. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, enroll your kids in a good school, and it's as safe as anywhere in the world." The second guy stopped shaking for a moment and said, "Oh, thank God. I was worried to death, but if you live there and say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?" "What do I do?" replied the first, "I'm a tail gunner on a bread truck."