The perks of getting older... You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. In a hostage situation you are to be released first. No one expects you to run - anywhere. People call at 8pm and ask, "Did I wake you?" People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. There is nothing left to learn the hard way. Things you buy now won't wear out. You get to eat dinner at 3pm. You can live without sex but not without glasses. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations. You get into heated arguments about pension plans. Kidnappers are not interested in you. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. You sing along with elevator music. Your eyes won't get much worse. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.