A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him, he said, "I forgot my teeth". The man said, "No problem." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. "Try these," he said. The speaker tried them on. "Too loose," he said. The man then said "I have another pair -- try , these." The speaker tried them on and responded, "Too tight." The man was not taken back at all. He said, "I have one more pair. Try them." The speaker said, "They fit perfectly." With that, he ate his meal and gave his speech. After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went to thank the man who had helped him. "I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I've been looking for a good dentist." The man replied, "I'm not a dentist. I'm an undertaker !