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In the beginning

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Jul 15, 2003.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    Likes Received:
    Oct 28, 2001
    Muskogee Ok.
    In the beginning God populated the earth with broccoli
    and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red
    vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live
    long and healthy lives.

    Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Ben
    and Jerry's and Krispy Creme. And Satan said, "You
    want chocolate with that?" And man said "Yes!" and
    woman said, "I'll have another with sprinkles." And lo
    they gained 10 pounds.

    And God created the healthful yogurt that woman might
    keep the figure that man found so fair.

    And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat,
    and sugar from the cane, and combined them. And woman
    went from size 2 to size 6.

    So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."

    And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing and
    garlic toast on the side. And man and woman unfastened
    their belts following the repast.

    God then said, "I have sent you hearty healthy
    vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them."

    And Satan brought forth deep fried shrimp and catfish
    and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own
    platter. And man gained more weight and his
    cholesterol went through the roof.

    God then brought forth running shoes so that his
    children might lose those extra pounds.

    And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote
    control so Man would not have to toil changing the
    channels. And man and woman laughed and cried before
    the flickering light and piled on the pounds.

    Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in
    fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.

    Then Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced
    the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them and
    added copious quantities of salt. And man put on more

    God then gave lean beef so that man might consume
    fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

    And Satan created McDonald's and the 99-cent double

    Then Lucifer said, "You want fries with that?" and man
    replied, "Yes! And super size 'em!" And Satan said,
    "It is good."

    And man went into cardiac arrest.

    God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

    And Satan created HMO's.
  2. Wmarden


    Likes Received:
    Aug 23, 2002
    You know, that might actually fit better in GNC or religion, it does raise some interesting points regarding our eating habits.

  3. Ronny

    Ronny Good Guy

    Likes Received:
    Dec 28, 2001
    NE Ohio
    Not only does he have the best music, but now I realize he has the best food!
  4. Wmarden


    Likes Received:
    Aug 23, 2002
    Why not he lives in the largest barbecue joint in the known universe.