close

Privacy guaranteed - Your email is not shared with anyone.

Illness and bickering

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by chris in va, Jan 11, 2010.

  1. chris in va

    chris in va

    Messages:
    3,887
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2005
    Location:
    Louisville KY
    Maybe someone on here has experienced this, so fielding it to the GT folks.

    My friend's daughter got diagnosed with cancer a few months ago. It's an incredibly rare form, especially in her age group. So rare in fact, they don't even have statistics.

    She was taken to a local hospital for testing and the oncologist (Top 100 In the Nation! bleh) started putting her on chemos that had nothing to do with her condition. The cancer spread, she got very bad. She was overdosed on morphine and was a zombie for over two months.

    My friend worked night and day to find a cure, and she found one...in Germany. It's not approved here in the states yet. But there are specialists devoted to this type...and that's where the fighting started.

    So bottom line, how does my friend not get discouraged by the 'other' side of the family doing all the wrong things? So far she's pretty much saved her life, getting her lined up with the correct specialists and is on a better chemo (and got her off morphine too).

    Please don't say stuff like "I'm sorry" etc, just looking for advice. BTW her daughter is doing a LOT better on the patch and the correct chemo.
     
  2. Naelbis

    Naelbis

    Messages:
    3,609
    Likes Received:
    450
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2009
    Location:
    ND
    Sometimes you just gotta tell people to get with the program or shut it....If the rest of the family is constantly harping on her and bickering then they are part of the problem. Your friend has to tell them to get on board or get lost. And yes, I know thats difficult especially with family.
     

  3. Eyescream

    Eyescream hates you

    Messages:
    32,672
    Likes Received:
    3
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2002
    Thanks for saving me all that typing.
     
  4. HollowHead

    HollowHead Firm member

    Messages:
    25,602
    Likes Received:
    4,391
    Joined:
    May 16, 2005
    Location:
    Where the buffalo roam
    It's amazing the number of people who think that only the best meds, treatments and proceedures are only available in the United States. Best of luck to her. HH
     
  5. holyjohnson

    holyjohnson

    Messages:
    3,547
    Likes Received:
    4,432
    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2006
    Location:
    suburban MN
    pretty much what Naelbis said.
    if she feels like it helps,she is the best indicator of it helping.the rest need to get on board and support the choices made.
    if they can`t do that they`ve become another problem she may not need and a burden she just does`nt need.i`d sit down with the problem family members and tell them flat out back off and support her because it may be easier without them there.
     
  6. GlocknSpiehl

    GlocknSpiehl NRA Life Member

    Messages:
    2,856
    Likes Received:
    625
    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2002
    Location:
    Miami, FL
    This is correct. Her family NEEDS to be told that they either get with the program or STFU.

    In my job, I deal with people with cancer every day. Patients with supportive families and caregivers do much better than those without. If your friend needs to take her to the Arctic circle for the cure, then she should do so. If the family keeps it up, then she needs to cut them off completely and let them know why.

    I am glad you are being supportive for her!
     
  7. .264 magnum

    .264 magnum CLM

    Messages:
    13,496
    Likes Received:
    1,159
    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2002
    Location:
    Dallas TX
    With respect, it's also amazing how often people are swindled out of time they don't have to waste and money chasing miracle cures only available overseas.


    And for sure best of luck to her.

    Out of deference to the OP I'm going to withhold additional comments other than to say the wrong chemo and over prescribed morphine claims seem far fetched or maybe incomplete.
     
  8. Ol Timer

    Ol Timer ↓ hog hunter ↓ Millennium Member

    Messages:
    9,402
    Likes Received:
    7
    Joined:
    Jan 20, 1999
    Do you believe somebody who is not family is in place to do so?
     
  9. m2hmghb

    m2hmghb

    Messages:
    8,696
    Likes Received:
    100
    Joined:
    May 27, 2002
    Location:
    Livin in the country of NJ
    Tell her family that if they want to bicker about her treatment then to do it amongst themselves and out of hearing of the patient. People will tend to do it anyways, but tell them if the daughter overhears their bickering they might not be able to visit.
     
  10. NEOH212

    NEOH212 Diesel Girl

    Messages:
    8,983
    Likes Received:
    23
    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2008
    Location:
    North East Ohio
    Agreed! :agree: :thumbsup:
     
  11. Gallium

    Gallium CLM

    Messages:
    28,685
    Likes Received:
    17
    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2003
    IIRC, Farah Fawcett went the route of Germany too.

    Sometimes that glimmer of hope really does not exist. Much of the medicinal science all over the 1st world is peer reviewed.

    What are their peers here saying about the procedures and treatments there?

    If I had someone who was cancer stricken, there is only one place on earth I would want to take them: Sloane-Kettering, in NYC metro area.

    http://www.mskcc.org/mskcc/html/44.cfm


    'Drew
     
  12. GlocknSpiehl

    GlocknSpiehl NRA Life Member

    Messages:
    2,856
    Likes Received:
    625
    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2002
    Location:
    Miami, FL
    No, he should encourage the mother to do so. Sorry, my answer was a little vague on that. The OP is doing his part by supporting the Mom. If she asked for advice, that is what I would give.
     
  13. GlocknSpiehl

    GlocknSpiehl NRA Life Member

    Messages:
    2,856
    Likes Received:
    625
    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2002
    Location:
    Miami, FL
    Actually wrong chemo happens a lot. It depends on how long it takes the Dr.s to catch that it is not working. Some patients may need to try several different types before finding the one that works best for their cancer.

    What a lot of docs and patients are doing is having a PET scan done, then a round of chemo and/or radiation, then another PET scan. For many types of cancer, the PET scan can tell the docs if the treatment is working and causing tumors to shrink, etc. The problem is getting insurance to pay for the scan during treatment. PET is the gold standard for verifying that your chemo is working.
     
  14. .264 magnum

    .264 magnum CLM

    Messages:
    13,496
    Likes Received:
    1,159
    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2002
    Location:
    Dallas TX


    I think we're oversimplifying a lot.

    A chemo. regime not working does not mean that the doc. chose the wrong chemo. Restated. I think very rarely does a doc. look at staging studies, symptoms, age etc. and then proscribe the WRONG chemo(s). What is far more likely is that a patient may not respond to the chemo(s) that are statistically the most effective given the disease and other circumstances but later respond or respond better to a second set of drugs that have proved to be less effective statistically.



    Agreed regarding PET scans.