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Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by on target, Aug 19, 2002.

  1. on target

    on target

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    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2000
    Location:
    Livingston,NJ
    Possibly the funniest story in a long while.
    This is a bricklayer's
    accident report, which was printed in the
    newsletter of the

    Australian equivalent of the Workers'
    Compensation board.
    This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have
    received a Darwin Award for sure....

    Dear Sir
    I am writing in response to your request for additional information
    in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning"
    as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller
    explanation and I trust the following details will be
    sufficient.
    I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of
    the accident, I was
    working alone on the roof of a new six story
    building. When I completed my
    work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when
    weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of
    500 lbs. Rather than
    carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to
    lower them in a barrel by
    using a pulley, which was attached to the
    side of the building onthe sixth floor.
    Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof,
    swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it.
    Then I went down and
    untied the rope, holding it tightly to
    ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

    You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135
    lbs.
    Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly,
    lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.
    Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side
    of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the
    barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equal, impressive
    speed. This explained the
    fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone,
    as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.
    Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping
    until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the
    pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence
    of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in
    spite of beginning to
    experience pain. At approximately the same time, however, the
    barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.
    Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that
    barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to
    my weight. As you can
    imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the
    side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the
    barrel coming up. This
    accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several
    lacerations of my legs and lower body.
    Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the
    barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my
    injuries when I fell into the
    pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.
    I am sorry to report, however, as I lay
    there on the pile of bricks,
    in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of
    mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel
    begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.
    I hope this answers your inquiry.