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If Men Planned Weddings

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Aug 31, 2004.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    Location:
    Muskogee Ok.
    If Men Planned Weddings:


    1. There would be a "Rehearsal Kegger" rather than a "Rehearsal
    Dinner."

    2. Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jeans cutoffs and halter
    tops. They would have NO tan lines.

    3. Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would
    have matching team colors. (My fiance threatened to have his and his
    brother's football numbers embroidered on their tuxes! I threatened
    to walk out but he said I wouldn't see it until after we said our
    vows so I'd be stuck then!)

    4. June weddings would be scheduled around basketball play-offs

    5. Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically, but omit that
    "forsaking all others" part.

    6. The couple would leave the ceremony in a souped up '73 Charger or
    some other Mopar muscle car with racing tires and flame designs on
    the side of the car. Better yet, a Harley!

    7. Idiots who tried to dance with the bride (unless they were really
    old) would get punched in the head.

    8. Big, slobbery dogs would be eligible for the role of "Best Man."

    9. There would be "Tailgate Receptions."

    10. Outdoor weddings would be held during sporting events at
    half-time or between innings.

    11. Ceremonies would be short and honeymoons would be long.

    12. Ceremonies and honeymoons would be inexpensive compared to the
    cost of the bachelor party. (Those strippers and all that alcohol
    sure add up!!!)

    13. Men wouldn't ask, "Well, what do you think, dear? The burgundy
    or the wine colored napkins?" They'd just grab extras from their
    local pub or tavern.

    14. Favors would be matchbooks and cigars. Better yet, free drink
    passes at the local lounge.

    15. The bride's dress would show cleavage, her navel, and be
    form-fitted to her butt.

    16. Instead of a sit-down dinner or a buffet, there would be a hog
    roast or buckets of chicken, pizza and plenty of bar-b-que.

    17. No one would bother with that "Veil Routine." But they would
    insist that the garter be as high up on her leg as it could go.

    18. The bridal bouquet would be recycled from a previous funeral or
    something.

    19. Invitations would read as follows: Tom (Dick or Harry) is
    getting the ol' ball and chain. He's getting married.
    He either:
    A) knocked her up; B) couldn't get a different roommate; or C) caved
    in to her ultimatum. Please meet the woman who will cook and clean
    for him for the rest of his life at Texas Stadium On the 50 Yard Line
    at half-time during Sunday's Game. Please join us at the Clubhouse
    after the game For beer, nachos and pizza. Oh yeah, BYOB.
     
  2. TheDVDMan

    TheDVDMan

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    So...you're marrying another GUY!?!







    That copy & paste can get ya sometimes! ;f
     

  3. vafish

    vafish

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    You know what they say about Oklahoma.

    Nothing there but steers and.......
     
  4. Glocks&Ducs

    Glocks&Ducs

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    Huh? can you let me in on your interpretation? This is mine.

    Originally posted by okie
    My fiance(I am a woman) threatened to have his and his
    brother's football numbers embroidered on their tuxes! I threatened
    to walk out but he said I wouldn't see it until after we said our
    vows so I'd be stuck then!

    OKIE posted it some woman wrote it. Why would a guy sit around and think this up? ;f