Ice Fishing

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Glockrunner, Oct 17, 2003.

  1. Glockrunner

    Glockrunner HOOYA DEEPSEA

    Likes Received:
    Sep 10, 2001
    Billy Bob and Jethro decide to go ice fishing.

    After arriving at the lake early in the morning, they cut two holes in the lake and drop in their lines in the water.

    After fishing for a few hours, Billy Bob has caught dozens of fish while Jethro hasn't even gotten a bite.

    Jethro asks, "Billy Bob, what's your secret?"

    Billy Bob answers, "Mmu motta meep da mmrms mmrm."

    Jethro asks, "What did you say?"

    Billy Bob answers, "Mmu motta meep da mmrms mmrm."

    Jethro again asks, "What?"

    Billy Bob spits into his hand and says, "You gotta keep the worms warm!"
  2. ScubaSven

    ScubaSven PersonaNonGrata

    Likes Received:
    Jun 3, 2003
    Villa Incognito
    Well traveled ice-fishing urban legend: (I still think its funny.)

    Darwin award candidate

    Michigan, USA.

    Guy buys brand new Grand Cherokee for 30 some
    thousand dollars and has 400+ dollar monthly payments.
    He immediately gets ahold of his friend and they go do
    some male bonding. They go duck hunting and of course
    all the lakes are frozen.

    These 2 Atomic Brains go to the lake with the guns,
    the dog, the beer and of course the new vehicle.
    They drive out onto the lake ice and get ready.
    Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing
    area for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on.
    Remember, it's all ice and in order to make a hole large
    enough to look like something a wandering duck wants
    to fly down and land on, it is going to take a little more
    effort than an ice hole drill.

    Out of the back of the new Grand Cherokee comes a
    stick of dynamite with a short, 40 second fuse.

    Now these 2 Rocket Scientists do take into consideration
    that if they place the stick of dynamite on the ice at a
    location far from where they are standing (and the new
    Grand Cherokee), they take the risk of slipping on the
    ice when they run from the burning fuse and possibly
    going up in smoke with the resulting blast. So, they
    decide to light this 40 second fuse and throw the dynamite
    which is what they end up doing.

    Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned
    the vehicle, the beer, the guns AND THE DOG ????

    Yes, the dog. A highly trained Black Lab used for
    retrieving, especially things thrown by the owner.

    You guessed it, the dog takes off at a high rate of doggy
    speed on the ice and gets the stick of dynamite with the
    burning 40 second fuse about the time it hits the ice all
    to the woes of the 2 idiots yelling, stomping, waving
    arms and wondering what the hell to do now.

    The dog, well it is happy and heads back from where
    it came from moments before, with the stick of dynamite,
    only to the mounting woes of the 2 bozo's now really
    waving their arms, yelling even louder and jumping
    to new heights than ever before.

    Now one of the guys decides to think, something that he
    has never done before this moment, grabs a shotgun and
    shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with #8 duck shot,
    hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab on its appointed
    rounds. Dog stops for a moment, slightly confused and
    continues on. Another shot and this time the dog, still
    standing, becomes really confused & of course scared,
    thinking these 2 Nobel Prize winners have gone insane
    and takes off to find cover, with the now really short,
    short fuse burning on this stick of dynamite.

    The cover the dogs finds? Underneath the brand new
    Grand Cherokee 30 some thousand dollar 400+ monthly
    payment vehicle sitting on the lake ice.

    BOOM !

    Dog dies, and it and the brand new Grand Cherokee
    30 some thousand dollar 400+ monthly payment vehicle
    sinks to the bottom of the lake leaving the 2 candidates
    for Co-leaders of the Known Universe standing there
    with this "I can't believe this happened" look on their faces.

    Later, the owner of the vehicle calls his insurance
    company which tells him that sinking a vehicle in
    a lake by illegal use of explosives is not covered.
    He had yet to make the first of those 400+ a month payments.

    I felt pretty sorry for the dog myself.