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I think my neighbors might be swingers

  1. Or maybe I just have cabin fever... y’all decide.

    They’ve lived across the street for 13 years. We’re very friendly with them, but I’d stop short of calling them friends. We occasionally socialize with them, frequently dog sit for them, chat in the yard a lot, and we even attended their daughter’s wedding.

    So here’s why I’m suddenly suspicious.

    Last night Mrs Boo remarked that the neighbors have a cute little pineapple ornament in the shrubs outside their front door. (I must never have noticed it.). I joked that they’re probably swingers. She didn’t know what I meant by that, and didn’t believe me when I explained, so she Googled it, and down the rabbit hole she went.

    https://www.google.com/amp/s/nypost.com/2017/06/02/secret-signs-your-neighbor-might-be-a-swinger/amp/

    My neighbors check the following swinger code sign boxes:

    Garden gnome... check
    Flamingo yard ornament... check
    Pineapple yard ornament... check
    Hot tub... check
    Pampas grass... check
    Anklet (she)... check
    Toe ring (she)... check

    On the circumstantial side, they’ve always seemed just slightly unusual, and do tend to speak freely about sex. I remember one time the wife over there mentioned to me something about a midnight mailbox club, where they sometimes walk down to the mailbox at midnight naked. I laughed it off, thinking it was a joke, but now I’m wondering if she was testing my reaction.

    I guess they’re just slightly odd enough that I wouldn’t be surprised if they are swingers. Too many itsy bitsy signals that may have seemed insignificant at the time, but strung together in retrospect have both of us wondering if the neighbors are hosting key parties across the street.

    So... cabin fever? Or exciting new world?

    upload_2020-4-7_10-46-2.jpeg
     
  2. We need pics.
     
  3. [​IMG]
     
  4. Think you need a professional opinion on this matter.

    Calling @G30SF/F-250 ...front and center for assistance please.
     
  5. I knew something was going on under the sea.

    [​IMG]
     
  6.  
  7. Is she HAWT? Asking for
    G30SF/F-250
     
  8. Oh hell no.
     
  9. No, it just means they're tacky.

    Mind your business.


    And I thought I was nosy!
     
  10. people can and will do whatever they want. makes me no never mind.
     
  11. Is she a 2 bagger? One for her head and one for yours in case hers comes off?
     
  12. [​IMG]
     
  13. He just didn't say "No", he said "hell no".

    We might be talking "Mama June" with unwashed fat creases and stretch mark tats.
     
  14. If all this was true, then all the residents of Florida and California are swingers.

    V.
     
  15. [​IMG]
     
  16. You just never know. Live and let live.

    In our younger days, women were constantly hitting on my wife. I though it was amusing.

    When we moved to Chicago the neighborhood we lived in had a bunch of couples that mixed things up. Hot tub parties turned into house keys in the punch bowl. We didn’t partake.

    We returned to Chi a few years later and stayed at a ex neighbors home .....a divorcée. She outright propositioned my wife and I at dinner....... nope.

    I learned that one of my ex employees ( and his spouse) in PA were hardcore swingers. He was canvassing all the attractive couples from that branch........ that’s a big no Ghost-rider. Not a good look for work!

    Don’t look too hard, you will probably find more than you want.
     
  17. Are we in 9th grade? What side is his earring on?? Did you hear The New Kids on the Block are gay?
     
  18. Does it take just one Pink Flamingo to be tacky or some specific number or flock?
     
  19. Have a couple of drinks with them and then ask. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
     
  20. I was shopping yard ornaments the other day (settled on a blue heron) when I came across a 150 pack of pink flamingos at Home Depot. 150. I assume that's meant for opening day at a new trailer park or something.
     
  21. This is what I thought of when you posted that.
    [​IMG]
     
  22. That's another sure sign just like the nudist colonies! :eek:
     
  23. With the way I look, being propositioned has as much chance an Epstine having killed himself!
     
  24. That’s hysterical?
    Up here some party stores have a service that will put ( and later pick up) anywhere from 100 to 1,000 flamingoes on a lawn. Quite a sight...,, not a good one.
     
  25. See, now you have everyone doing it.

    V.
     
  26. You know how to tell where all the Flamingo's live? They have pink people on sticks in their front yard!:freak:
     
  27. Nope, no white landscaping rocks.
     
  28. And, from what I can tell, ankle bracelets are usually a sign of a swinger. On mature adult women, not teenagers.
    But it is not a hard and fast rule, either.
    Seen it in the movies...
     
  29. Exactly. I can’t decide without pics!!
     
  30. If it looks like $#!t, feels like $#!t, smells like $#!t and tastes like $#!T, then it usually IS $#!T. Especially if there's an ankle bracelet around it and a little pink flamingo sticking out of it...

    My brother lived in a neighborhood in N. Austin. Rumor had it that the neighborhood swingers all had blue pots in their front yards somewhere. Never was able to ascertain the validity of the assertion, but his friends would always place a couple of them on either side of the front door as a joke.
     
  31. It's all an act so they can get pics of the look on you're face.
     
  32. OK assuming you're correct and they are in fact swingers how does it work. Someone drives down the road/street until they see a house with all the secret swinger stuff in the yard and they stop and say hay you want to swap wives?
     
  33. When I first moved into my house, one of my buddies and his girlfriend flamingoed my yard...the war went back and forth for a few years with more people getting involved. Once I had six of them strapped to the back of my VFR as I made a sneak attack to my sister's place 20 miles away. I got some strange looks for having those things bungeed to the seat of my bike.

    I still have two that have been guarding the place since then. Once I had a tom turkey try to get a date with one. They are getting used to the winters now, but still gripe about it. They've lost some color for sure.
    Flamingoes.jpg
     
  34. This was exactly my question also... of all the ways you could find people to swing with, yard decoration seems like a particularly unhelpful approach, even in a pre-internet era.

    Why on earth would you advertise with a yard gnome/pineapple/flamingo?

    The ankle bracelet at least seems like it'd offer the opportunity to start a conversation...

    The gnome, not so much?
     
  35. I thought the sign was thick gold necklaces, open polyester shirts and hairy chest. Or am I stuck in the 70s?

    And besides, yuck.
     
  36. Them boys are looking a bit frustrated. I think they need to head south.
     
  37. 1798C099-D8D9-4822-9A69-5726ADB309C7.jpeg
     
  38. This guy gets it.

    I need to get a closer look, but I think the husband wears a black ring band.
     
  39. I thought everybody knew that.
     
  40. Do they own a tiger?

    Sent from my Jackboot using Copatalk
     
  41. You,too,huh?
     
  42. What is that yellow thing? Another pervert secret symbol?
    Screenshot_2020-04-07-14-58-06-1.png

    :alex:
     
  43. We ran into a group once (three couples I think) on a vacation somewhere in the Caribbean. They were very open about it, and it was obvious the way they acted in the pool.

    When we came in for the day, my wife asked if I thought they were "switchers" :)

    Struck me as funny. Accurate, but funny.
     
  44. You make a phone call, and a guy comes and sticks his long hose in there. Makes a deposit, if you know what I mean....
     
  45. So some of you are saying my house is tacky ?

    flamingoes.jpg
     
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  47. My nephew loved flamingos. Called them Party Chickens! Gone too soon, Rest In Peace, Wes.
     
  48. If they've reached my age, and are anything like some of those I know who swing, no, we don't.

    That said, whatever floats your boat. Though with the Coronavirus, I imagine they'll be in dry dock for awhile yet.