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I need some serious help guys

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by badr1, Mar 13, 2010.

  1. badr1

    badr1

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    This is a hard hard post for me. My grandfather who has been all I have had as a role model and male figure my entire life.The man who made me the man I am today. The man who put the first gun i ever fired in my life (a S&W .357 he carried everyday on duty as a deputy for 18 yrs) had a heart cath today where the docs discovered he has 100% blockage in one side of his heart and 99% in the other. They say there is nothing they can do because the tissue has died and/or deteriorated beyond being able to place stints or bypass. They said he will die probably in his sleep and probably very soon. I have known he has had a bad heart for a long time and have accepted it the best I can(which isnt very good)....Heres my real problem....How do I tell my kids this? He is their everything the same as he has been mine my daughter is 8 and my boys are 7 I have never had to deal with this and I dont know how I can do it? I'm gonna lose it I'm starting to just typing this on here. I have worried about this but hoped it would never come to be :crying:
    I have been an EMT for several years and while i have watched as many have passed and had to tell several families we did all we could and let them cry on my shoulder or yell @ me I have NEVER been faced with anything like this and it's tearing me up!
     
  2. west26

    west26

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    are you a believer in god
     

  3. west26

    west26

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    if you are that's kewl if not thats kewl to ill pray for wisdom and comfort either way around it for you man. I'm not looking forward to the day I'm in your shoes
     
  4. itisbruno

    itisbruno Devious Member CLM

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    Just tell 'um ... if you tear up, big deal, they need to know

    sorry for the news, losing your grandpa is hard.
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2010
  5. Adams454

    Adams454

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    The good side is that you get a perfect chance to say everything you want to say. A lot of people lose loved ones without the chance to say goodbye. You get that chance, make the best of it.
     
  6. RedHaze

    RedHaze Handgunner

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    Stay strong. Our prayers are with you and your family!
     
  7. badr1

    badr1

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    yes but not a church goer
     
  8. IndyGunFreak

    IndyGunFreak

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    My Grandmother died when I was 11, we were all very close.

    Kids are kids, and you just have to tell them. I'm assuming they know he is very sick. Is he in any condition that you would allow them a "last visit" w/ him? Kids are resilient, they will recover, but you will need to be there for them when they have questions, etc.

    IGF
     
  9. Mikey.Dunn

    Mikey.Dunn

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    Sounds like the hardest part of telling your kids is accepting it yourself. I'd work on that first, remember what yall had together. Sorry for your loss by the way.
     
  10. Zell

    Zell IrregularMember

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    :wow:
    Please say that you are. There IS a loving Father in Heaven who will help you in how best to approach this with your kids and give you the courage to do so. Pray your guts out for help. He will hear you.

    Aside from this I am very very sad for you in this difficult situation. Hang in there. Be strong. Have faith in yourself. Approach this situation as maybe your grandfather would?

    All the best to you and your little family. May God's choicest blessings be upon you all. Prayers sent for you.
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2010
  11. larry_minn

    larry_minn Silver Member Millennium Member

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    Sorry to hear it. Might I suggest you consider a second opinion. Maybe something can be done. (Or his Dr. should have started care yrs ago)
    Talk to your kids, Let them know that this is going on and they need to talk to him.
    Maybe if he is good enough video tape him talking to them. Maybe comments for yrs down road. (first car/prom/etc)
     
  12. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    Sorry about your Grandfather my friend:angel:
     
  13. floorburn_21

    floorburn_21 Medium speed, some drag.

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  14. badr1

    badr1

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    That's kinda what I'm saying, How can I help them if I dont know right how to deal with it? He's home I talked to him on the phone tonight he said he has felt worse but doesnt feel good. We are gonna go over there tomorrow and hang out for awhile (kids and wife and I) there's no real need to say "goodbye" I'm not writing him off yet as I said earlier He's the strongest man I know. I'm just trying to prepare for whats to come. you know the old saying :hope for the best and expect the worst" I really appreciate all the kind words and advise. I'm just @ a loss. It's 4:40am and I'm in a Wal Mart parking lot on GT. Sorry for the longwinded posts just trying to get it off my chest I don't really wanna talk to anyone here @ home about it even the wife which is weird :dunno:
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2010
  15. Kozel

    Kozel

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    Tell your kids that great grandpa did his time on Earth and ready to go to much better place and they better be at least as good as him and believe in Jesus the Savior if they want to go there too someday.

    Make sure that your grandpa is right with God too. Jesus is the only one who can forgive all. Good people have sinned too. Not matter how good they were.
     
  16. 23skidoo

    23skidoo Deceased

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    You're proud of your grandfather. Spend some time with your children and tell them why you're proud of him.
     
  17. airmotive

    airmotive Tin Kicker

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    One day your kids will face the same delima with your death.

    This is your chance to make them ready for that day.
     
  18. HKUSP45Css

    HKUSP45Css

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    I lost my (maternal) grandpa at age 8 and I hadn't spent nearly enough time with him. We were good friends but, he had health issues which kept us apart the last few months. My mom didn't want me to see him battling colon cancer, to this day I feel like I was cut off from him.

    He was the kinda guy who would put you on his shoulders when you did right, twist your ear when you did wrong, treat you like a human, even if you were a kid.

    I still get all "hitchy" when I think about the time we lost. Those last months when I "couldn't see him for my own good" would have done me a world of good, I think. Just sayin'
     
  19. Gallium

    Gallium CLM

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    Badr1,

    Sorry to hear this. He will be in our thoughts and prayers.

    Celebrate his life, and all of the times you shared.

    'Drew
     
  20. inzone

    inzone

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    our families prayers are with you and your family...God Bless!