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I know two men

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by Foxterriermom, Apr 17, 2012.

  1. Foxterriermom

    Foxterriermom No place like home

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    Two men that I know recently hung themselves. The first one was a 38 year old man who had been living with severe depression and he hung himself in a barn two weeks ago where his father and his sister found his body.

    Tonight, the body of a 70 year old man that worked at the same school where I work, was found hung in his home. He had just been served divorce papers from his third wife this last week and no foul play is suspected.

    These two men had no knowledge of each other and are seperated by almost two thousand miles.

    I am struggling with two things. The first is trying to understand the decision of suicide. I have been in a situation that caused extreme emotional pain and I understand wanting the pain to stop, but not to the extent of taking my own life.

    The second thing that gnaws at me is how one goes about deciding on the method to die. How is it that both of these men chose to hang themselves? I've know two people that shot themselves and two that intentially overdosed on perscription drugs. Another person let a train hit him. How is it that these most recent two chose to hang themselves? What goes into the thought process?

    I have not been able to get the first man off my mind ever since I learned of his death, and now I know I will be thinking of this second man on top of it for quite some time. Can someone please help me to understand this?
     
  2. PaleRider505

    PaleRider505

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    Thats a tough one. There is obviously different levels of depression and everyone handles tough times differently. I've battled with it but nowhere near the point to where I really considered taking my own life. I think some just get to that mental state where they don't see things ever getting better. Can't see a way out other than ending their life. Sad. We've all heard the, "He's a coward", "He's selfish", "That's a chicken #@%* way out." But I think it's an illness. You really have to be broke mentally. Not thinking rationally at that desperate moment. (Sorry your feeling uneasy)
     

  3. HollowHead

    HollowHead Firm member

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    Having been both and EMT and a SAR volunteer for over fourteen years in Montana (which juggles third and fourth position with Wyoming in the top ten states with the highest suicide rates), I've seen my share of suicides by all sorts of methods. I can understand one feeling that they are in a hopeless situation or in such mental or physical pain that they feel there's no other way out, but what I think is the greatest tragedy is those who kill themselves knowing full well that they'll be found by NOK. Driving out into the country and offing yourself in your truck is one thing. Waiting right before your kids get off the school bus and putting a rifle under your chin in the kitchen is another entirely. HH
     
  4. janice6

    janice6 Silver Member

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    I think that if you are the type of person that cannot consider suicide, then you cannot understand it, ever.

    I can't either. To me It is not a solution for anything.
     
  5. cmb19

    cmb19

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    There's different reasons for each way to commit suicide..at least by my way of thinking.
    I believe people who choose pills want the option of help, whether it be by family/friends finding them before it's too late or they can call an ambulance and possibly be saved in time.
    Those who choose guns/hanging/trains (as an example) WANT to die and don't want anyone to be able to stop them.

    Now comparing guns and hanging to things such as trains, I have a feeling some people would be afraid they wouldn't die instantly from a gunshot or being hung. No one wants to be a vegetable and no one wants to slowly choke to death. If you get hit by a train, you're going to die.

    I'm fairly certain I read somewhere that women generally choose pills or sitting in a closed garage with a running car, etc. because those are less painful ways to die and more likely to be saved.
    Men are more likely to choose ways that have the best chance of killing them because they really want to die.


    I have been suicidal more than once. I already know I would use a gun. I did not go through with it at any point because there were people who needed me and I chose them over me.
     
  6. Lone Wolf8634

    Lone Wolf8634 :):

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    Hypothetically speaking:

    Imagine that emotional pain lasting for years. No relief, no end. Then imagine not being able to pinpoint a reason for it to be there. Imagine not being able to explain why you feel that way, year after year.

    Imagine losing any interest in doing anything, even things you previously had a passion for. Now you can't work up the ambition or energy to get up and do them.

    If you can't imagine that. Lucky you.
     
  7. Foxterriermom

    Foxterriermom No place like home

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    The second man in my post, hung himself in a one story house. I can't imagine that it would have been an effective instantaneous death. I am having visions of him suffocating to death in a horrible struggle instead of a clean neck break. Maybe I am being too morbid. I would never hang myself.
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2012
  8. Folsom_Prison

    Folsom_Prison Brew Crew

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    For some suicide is a sickness and no way around it. I knew of a guy that had EVERYTHING anybody could want. Great great family, toys, his own boss, did what he wanted when he wanted, awesome house the list goes on. Deep down this man was sick and thought his life sucked and wanted to die.

    He eventually secluded himself from all the ones that loved him because he had a plan, that was to die. He had a few failed attempts but eventually succeeded and od'd on pills. He tried getting help ect but nothing worked and he got his way.

    I'm sure some make a random irrational decision and kill themselves but for others there truly hurting and deep down inside their mind they find no other option than suicide. Many folks will say it's a cop out, lame excuse, bs way to go but honestly you can't always judge someone because you really don't know what that person was feeling.
     
  9. HollowHead

    HollowHead Firm member

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    I have a particular dislike for train jumpers because they involve some poor schlub just doing his job and trying to make a living. My cousin was dating a really nice guy who was a Long Island Rail Road motorman when a jumper decided to use his train to solve his problems. This was back in '84 or 5 and he was never the same after that. HH
     
  10. janice6

    janice6 Silver Member

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    -------------------------------------------------------------

    See here is an example of a rationale human being. It's not about you. It's about what you will do to others.
     
  11. LongGoneDays

    LongGoneDays Misanthropical

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    What a terrible way to go. Their pain is gone now.
     
  12. HollowHead

    HollowHead Firm member

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    Reminds me of the poem "Richard Cory"

    Whenever Richard Cory went down town,
    We people on the pavement looked at him:
    He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
    Clean-favoured and imperially slim.

    And he was always quietly arrayed,
    And he was always human when he talked;
    But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
    "Good Morning!" and he glittered when he walked.

    And he was rich, yes, richer than a king,
    And admirably schooled in every grace:
    In fine -- we thought that he was everything
    To make us wish that we were in his place.

    So on we worked and waited for the light,
    And went without the meat and cursed the bread,
    And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
    Went home and put a bullet in his head.

    Edwin Arlington Robinson, 1897

    HH
     
  13. Foxterriermom

    Foxterriermom No place like home

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    Agreed. I am not condemning these guys for what they have done. I am just trying to wrap my head around it. I've hear it said so many times that suicide is the ultimate selfish act, but that would only come from rational thought. As others have said, suicide is not rational.
     
  14. Folsom_Prison

    Folsom_Prison Brew Crew

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    There was a chic around here a few years back, I think I went to school with her. She stood on the tracks waiting for the train, I couldn't imagine being the guy running the train seeing some chic just standing there, knowing there's nothing you could do.
     
  15. Folsom_Prison

    Folsom_Prison Brew Crew

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    When these people have these thoughts there not thinking rationally because their not in the right mind. I guess that's the best way I can put it if that makes sense.
     
  16. HollowHead

    HollowHead Firm member

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    It's an incredibly selfish thing to do. About two or so years ago, there was a doctor who had a local practice here who suddenly closed up and moved to Phoenix? Tucson? ABQ? and under the guise of condo shopping had a realtor show her a condo in a tall building on one of the top floors. While she was being shown the unit, she bolted off the balcony and the realtor was close enough to grab one of her shoes. HH
     
  17. Sgt127

    Sgt127

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    I've worked quite a few train/ped and train vehicle accidents. Some were accidents, some may have been suicides, some were drunks that fell asleep on the tracks or drove across the tracks.

    I remember one, guy drove right in front of the train. I was talking to the engineer, getting his side of it. He told me, matter of factly, he saw the guy pull up on the tracks, he laid on the horn, hit the brakes and just watched it happen. Nothing he could do about it, couldn't control it, he was just an observer to what was happening. I asked him if he was OK, did he need to talk to anybody, had anything like this happened before etc.

    He said, "Yep, I think this is number seven for me, I'm good, I appreciate you asking Sergeant, but, I'm fine. Like I said, I had nothing to do with it, I was just along for the ride."

    Dang. At least he figured out how to deal with it. He was, of course, absolutly right. There is NOTHING he could do about it. The idiot and the train caused the death, not him.
     
  18. Caver 60

    Caver 60

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    Strange this thread came up. Going to a funeral for a suicide victim tomorrow. Neighbor down the road about a mile. Been very physically sick a long time. He had been an EMT.

    Left a note, went down in the basement sometime during the night and used a gun. Wife found him Saturday morning. Left her and six grown children. We go to church with one of the children. Sad.
     
  19. dango

    dango

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    Life can be very hard and at times the sun rises and we wander ,why am I still here ? Life is hard and death is easy . When you look down the long road of life and see nothing , no light at the end of the tunnel , It is time to seek help.
    Every human being needs some sense of purpose and if you haven't found that purpose , you need help finding it.It's there ,you just have not found it yet.
    Now in the case of an old man , He may see it as nothing left to offer. There is always something left to offer , knowledge , you did not get to be an old man by stupidity , we all have something left to offer. Knowledge.
    When you add Alcohol or drugs , you need help and quickly , these are probably the two most important deterives in our lives.
    Not everybody makes a good doctor nor does everybody make a good alcolholic We all lack some basic tool Get help , it's out there!
     
  20. *ASH*

    *ASH* FURBANITE

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    there is always a trick question on several different applications and such

    the question is ' have you thought of suicide ? most say no for obvious reasons but the answer is yes , everyone has thought of suicide JUST NOT COMMITTING SUICIDE

    and really unless you are feeling what a helpless person is feeling you cant understand

    in our brains we all have a trigger mechanism and a limit , even those who say i would never take my life !!! you just dont know ,and hopefully will never know