I have to put my mother (grandmother) in hospice

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by JLA, Jan 16, 2020.

  1. JArthurD

    JArthurD Silver Member

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    I have enormous respect and love for Hospice!!!! They will care for her well.

    Prayers for you and her, for God’s peace, at a difficult time. I know that God makes his presence felt at such times.

    So sorry for your trouble.
     
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  2. DrewBone

    DrewBone

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    JLA, I'm sorry to hear of this. Please know that I too will be keeping both your Grandma and you in my prayers.
     
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  3. DannyB

    DannyB

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    nursetim, I probably used the wrong words about definitions or levels of hospice. Actually my mother sort of had me thinking kind of that way. The reason is probably along the lines of what you said about having a patient for five years. My mom told me about similar cases. She said everyone seems to think it's all over immediately. Sometimes it is not.

    We went down this road five years ago with my dad, and then last year with Mom. The world can get quite small if you live in a small town. My dad and the owner of the nursing home worked together over thirty years ago with the TX Dept. of Health. Over thirty years ago my mom worked at the hospital with the head hospice RN that enrolled her. They both got great care!

    My mother dearly loved the hospice nurse that saw her daily. And I could tell the nurse loved my mom the same. She brought her daughter to visit Mom. Mom had me out buying treats and gifts for the nurse's daughter. And being in a small town I saw Mom about 2-3 times a day every day.

    To the OP, I'm sorry to read about your situation. However, hospice is a step up in care. At least it sure was for us in both cases.
     
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  4. larry_minn

    larry_minn Silver Member Millennium Member

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    Spend what time you can with her. Depending on where she is mentally, physically. Ask her who she would like to talk to. I waited too long before I thought of that with my mom. She really enjoyed talking to her sister in California, other relatives around the country. With cell phone, using hospital wifi to find phone numbers it cost nothing.
    If possible have her tell stories and record them, make copies for family. Ask her what she wants. I had a relative who had tooth issue. They pulled a number of her teeth. She was extreamly upset about that. It sure it was best thing, but she was embarrassed, upset for the time she had left.
     
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  5. Maine

    Maine

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    Prayers sent for you and your family.
     
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  6. Doc Holliday

    Doc Holliday CLM

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    So sorry. That's hard to go through. Best wishes for inner strength.
     
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  7. El Pistolero

    El Pistolero bene vivere Silver Member

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    Prayers and good thoughts for you and your grandmother.
     
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  8. Bomber Nav

    Bomber Nav

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    God's peace to you and your grandmother, my friend...
     
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  9. TeaDub

    TeaDub

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    The "pain in the jaw". Look up Trigeminal Neuralgia. It's a fairly common, severe nerve pain that has many drugs to ease the symptoms. It may not be the case for your Grandmother's condition. It takes a while to diagnose in many patients.

    Whatever the cause, prayers for your family.
     
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  10. BigBull 301

    BigBull 301

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    Prayers sent...
     
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  11. Batesmotel

    Batesmotel

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    Sorry to hear this. That is a terrible position to be in. It is so tough seeing strong independent loved ones during that stage of life.
     
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  12. scattershot

    scattershot

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    “I think there are many definitions and or types of hospice. All I've ever been told is that hospice is just a different and better level of care, usually in the same facility, if already in a nursing home. The whole concept is comfort.”

    We came to understand it that way, too, when it came time for my father-in-law to have a higher level of care.

    At 99, she’s had a pretty good run. Doesn’t make it any easier on you, though. Be strong.
     
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  13. JLA

    JLA

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    I lost my mother just before midnight last Saturday. It was so hard to see her struggle to breath. She would mumble that she wasn’t ready to go yet under her breath. It was heartbreaking to see her like that especially being the most resilient person I have even been around in my life. She fought so hard and loved life so much that she didn’t want to go. She went to Heaven at 11:55 pm Saturday .

    Come to find out , and I forgot what day the next day was, Sunday was her late daughter’s birthday as she passed in 2013. In my heart I think she was trying to hold off until the next day on her daughters birthday to surprise her in Heaven . I get choked up every time I think about it .
    And to everyone , thank you for the prayers , thoughts, and good wishes. It meant a lot.
     
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2020
  14. E-2-E

    E-2-E Long Trail

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    Very sorry, and prayers sent
     
  15. norton

    norton

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    To the OP
    God bless you and your Grandma/Mom.
    She did her best sounds like.
    My wife's Uncle lives alone. He is 85, has been diagnosed with a mass in his chest. They did not explore.
    He is now in a Nursing Home, we hope he can improve to the point where he can go into assisted living.
     
  16. deputy tom

    deputy tom Gringo Viejo

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    JLA, prayers sent. tom.
     
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  17. Hannie Caulder

    Hannie Caulder Diva extraordinaire

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    Very sorry to read this. I just said a prayer for you.
     
  18. Tvov

    Tvov

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    Thoughts and prayers for you and everyone involved.

    It is never easy, I've had similar in my family far too often the last couple years.

    If you want to talk about it, vent, rant, or just talk randomly... feel free to come back here and do just that. Sometimes talking about things to essentially strangers can help.

    Although I've come to think of the GT community as more than just "strangers" over time.
     
  19. flyover

    flyover

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    My condolences upon the loss of your loved one.

    Prayers lifted up.
     
  20. Sharkey

    Sharkey

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    Sorry, that is rough. I lost both my adopted parents to cancer and there was a point where my dad went into hospice. Me and my sister were working and we would both go to the house every day and it was a big stressor even with the help of VNA. When it is time it is time. I had one of the nurses call me at work and she stated my dad didn't have much time left. I am grateful to her that I was able to be there in the last hours. God bless because it is a hard thing to go thru. I now have a lot of friends that are facing the same thing with their parents so I can provide sympathy to them having gone thru it.
     
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