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I have a dream

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Mar 8, 2004.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    I HAVE A DREAM?



    WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV TONIGHT AND SEE G.W. BUSH GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH:





    My fellow Americans:





    As you all know, the defeat of Iraq's regime has been completed. Since
    Congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in
    Iraq is complete.





    This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces
    from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days.





    It is now time to begin the reckoning.





    Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
    which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short.
    The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the
    countries listed there.





    The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
    world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing
    copies of both lists later this evening.





    Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those
    nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
    during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi
    war.





    The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
    hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.





    Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.





    In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money
    toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.





    On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will
    hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the
    earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe
    China.





    To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Work out a peace deal NOW. Just
    note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia for
    negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too.





    I'm ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France,
    Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring
    from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.





    I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN
    diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid tickets
    to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I
    don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. Pay your tickets
    tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over
    to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.





    A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are going
    to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not
    pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and
    his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I have a
    couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where
    I'm gonna put 'em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with
    your oil. Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty
    -- starting now.





    It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.
    Some will accuse us of isolationism.





    I answer them by saying 'darn tootin.' Nearly a century of trying to help
    folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying
    enmity of just about everyone on the planet.





    It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate
    homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup soccer from
    America.





    To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you.



    To the nations on List 2, a final thought: Drop dead.





    God bless America.





    Thank you and good night.
     
  2. Steve Koski

    Steve Koski Got Insurance? Millennium Member

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    Don't hold your breath.
     

  3. Egyas

    Egyas Troll Hater

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    Truely a funny read. There a few things on there that I disagree with, but those are details. I SO AGREE with the sentiment!
     
  4. Guest

    if that actually happened, I would probably die from happiness.
     
  5. Marzipan

    Marzipan Optimist

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    making a right onto...
    Cool speech. If you sent it to Bush, do you think he would read it?