...I was at my parents house getting ready for bed and I had already had my last drink of water, I had the dogs sorted out and all that was left was I had to pee reeeeeally bad. Well, the hallway bathroom was occupied so I went out to the carport, opened the door with my left hand and started to pee. As soon as the first drop hit the dirt I heard the *ka-ching...ka-ching* of a dog collar that sounded like it was attatched to a large dog that was sprinting up out of the darkness at the bottom of the yard. I was sure it was the crazy pitbull next door. So there I am, my hair is standing up all over my body and my fight-or-flight sense is screaming to get the heck out of there, but I was unable to cut the stream. I stumbled back into Mom and Dad's carport and weewee'd all over everything from the chairs, the door, the floor, the walls, and my socks. Even worse, the other neighbor's dog (also named Zack, go figure) comes busting through the door before it slams looking all excited to see me and he gets painted too. I gave him a pat on his soaked head and came inside. The best part was Mom's uncontrollable laughter as I explained to her how I managed to pee everywhere in their enclosed carport.